My intuition about boys and girls.

I think women are more varied in their personalities (“women are crazy” is the uncharitable view), but less varied in their preferences over the population of men.

Conversely, men are less varied in their personalities (“men are pigs” is the uncharitable view), but more varied in their preferences over the population of women.

To me, this reasonably explains why there’s a pretty well-defined hierarchy of sexually successful characteristics among men. It can also explain why almost any woman can get a date, if she wants one. But it doesn’t explain why men of similar relative status would compete over the same woman. That might be governed by more general competitive impulses among men (over resources, territory, etc.) than by specific mating preferences.

I see the “I don’t know what women want” excuse among men and the “all men are bastards” excuse among women as each gender’s code for “I am currently not attractive enough, relative to my expectations of a potential mate.”

Originally published at crimesagainsthumility.tumblr.com.