Beautiful Flower
There is absolutely nothing I would trade for the life I have right now. I’m going to college, my family is supporting me, I have the greatest best friend, and my fiance is so amazing. It’s all going according to plan. I love to read romantic novels and all I want is for it to play out like one, even though I know it’s not realistic. I always have these thoughts when I doze off in class.
After leaving our 3 pm classes, my best friend and I head to Starbucks.
“Hey Jane, the usual right?”, Gina asks, her black hair resting on her shoulders.
“Caramel macchiato,” I reply.
I scan a brown, quiet table in the corner and go to sit down, waiting for our order. When our drinks are ready, Gina sits in front of me and we start talking about our summer plans.
“I’m so excited for my wedding” I admit. “There’s still so much to plan. I need to call the florist, make an appointment with a hair salon, and go to the second dress fitting,” I say with a sigh.
Gina leans over and grabs my arm.
“Jane, I need to talk to you,” Gina says, her breath shaky. “You can’t marry Oscar”.
I look her in the eyes. “Ha ha very funny. Now help me pick out the flowers for the decorations. These violets-”, I say until I see the seriousness in her eyes.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know,” Gina says.
“What are you talking about?”, I ask.
“I can’t let you be with him,” she says under her breath.
“I’m leaving,” I say as I push my chair back and stand up.
As I walk away, she continues, “I know that he hurts you Jane”. I stop in my tracks, glued to the wooden floor.
I turn and sit back at the table.
“Be quiet” I tell her. She looks at me with tears in her eyes.
She whispers, “You don’t think I’ve seen the bruises? Don’t even tell me you fell down the stairs. You didn’t fall a flight of stairs several times these past two weeks”. My eyes start to water and my breath hitches in my throat.
“Please don’t say anything. I love him,” I manage to squeak out.
“He’s not good for you,” she says. “Gina, he’s not who you think he is. Please listen to me Jane. I love you more than anyone so you know that I only want the best for you, right?” she asks. I nod. “He’s manipulating you just do that you don’t leave him,” she replies. My heart starts to clench.“That isn’t love,” Gina says as she holds my hand. “I never told you this but my dad used to beat my mom. I would go home to find my mom cooking, a new bruise on her wrist. I pleaded with her for years and she never listened. She didn’t leave until he broke 3 of her ribs. It caused so much damage to her lungs. That’s why I take care of her. She left when it was too late and I don’t want the same to happen to you”.
By the time she finishes telling me, we’re both crying so much that we can hardly see. “Gina, I’m so sorry. I never knew that was why you had to take care of your mother,” I reply. “I just love him so much Gina. He says he’ll change. I know he will. He’s not like your father. He’s different. He really loves me. I know he does.
“Jane, let’s go somewhere. I need to take you somewhere,” Gina suddenly says. We get in her blue Prius and drive to a small orange building next to an abandoned lot. “Where on Earth are you taking me?”, I say. “Just wait. It starts in an hour,” Gina replies.
While we wait in the prius, we roll the windows down and wait in the shade. The sun is beating down and sweat starts to form on my forehead.
“Can you please tell me why we’re here? It’s so hot!”, I complain.
“Just wait. It’s something I’ve been going to with my mom for the past couple years”, Gina answers.
The hour passes and we both hop out of the car.
We head inside the glass doors of orange building and into one of the rooms. Inside, there’s a group of people sitting in a circle. “I really thought he was going to change. He took me to a beautiful restaurant but when we got home, he accused me of cheating because of the way the waiter looked at me,” a woman says.
“Care to share with the group?”, a woman asks me. I say, “Oh I’m fine. There’s nothing wrong with my relationship”. Gina looks at me.
“Jane, please,” she pleads.
“No it’s okay. She’s not ready. She can listen,” the woman says.
Women and men start telling their stories of domestic violence as Gina and I listen. At the end, we all stand up and they chant, “I am not broken. I am beautiful. I am safe. I deserve to be loved”.
As they begin to file out, the woman comes up to me. “Hi love. My name is Grace. Thank you for coming. I know you’re new but this is your home. You can talk to us. We’re always here for you,” she tells me.
For some reason, I decide to tell her. Something about her feels safe.
“Can we sit down for a bit?”, I whisper to her.
“Of course dear. We’ll go to my office”, she replies.
“Jane, I’ll wait for you if you want”, Gina tells me.
“Actually, can you come to the room with me. I need you to hold me hand”, I tell her as the tears prick my eyes.
When we go to her office, Gina and I sit next to each other, her hand in mine.
“So, I just want to talk about Oscar”, I tell Grace. “I don’t know why I still forgive him. I just know he’s going to change. If he says he will, I believe him. I can’t start over with anyone else. He was the first guy to like me and what if I can’t find that with anyone else?”.
Grace leans forward. “You can’t live with that mentality. You don’t need to put up with Oscar and his abuse. It’s okay to start over. You have your whole life ahead of you, `` Grace says with a kind look on her face. “You’ll have that great love story, just not with him”.
After I spill everything about Oscar, I’m crying. “It’s my fault. I need to be better. I can’t believe I was so blinded. I’m really as stupid as he says I am,” I tell her.
“There is nothing wrong with you. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. Nobody does. Let me tell you something: You’re a beautiful flower. Don’t let someone else cause your beautiful petals to wilt. All of us make a garden. We need to take care of each other. We just need to get rid of the pests. Then, we’ll be able to grow, with some work. It won’t be easy but with dedication, it can be done,” she tells me.
After the meeting, I decide to go to the police station. I tell them everything while Gina holds my hand. “Thank you for being here Gina,” I tell her. “Of course I’d be here Jane. It needed to be done. Oscar deserves to be behind bars,” Gina says. “I’m so dumb,” I tell her. “Do not say that Jane,” she says. “You’re the smartest person I know and this is the smartest decision you can do”.
I think about how lucky I am to have such supportive people in my life. I don’t need Oscar in my life; he needs to be gone.
“I need to go talk to Oscar. This needs to stop, `` I say to them. “No more protecting him. This is about me.”
