First Love

The smell of chalk and pine-sol filled the lively classroom full of desks and chairs. The fluorescent lighting flickered over our group desk.

The teacher was gone, and there were only students. She was out on a break.

“I think she’s looking at me, man,” The blonde hair kid said while lifting up his wayfarer glasses.

“No she ain’t bro, I betcha she’s looking at me.” The high school jockey said while flexing his biceps. His eyes squinted to see far.

Everyone was trying to get the attention of her. Her name was Jessica, or Jessie as others called her in school. She was drop dead gorgeous. Her hair was dyed a blood red, contrasting greatly with her bright blue eyes. It’s no wonder I couldn’t get my mind off her.

But I was just a nobody. Nobody batted an eye at me.

But that’s OK, cause I’m sure 90% of the school is the same as me, right?

Anyways, I don’t think I mentioned that I have a huge crush on her. Probably the first girl I truly loved. So much so that I planned on asking her out.

“Dude, really? I mean, no offense, but…” Ricky said while buttoning his varsity football jacket. The number 53 was sewn onto his back in bright yellow letters, contrasting the blue fabric.

“Be more encouraging, I’m sure she’ll love to go with him. “ Bryan interrupted while combing his thin blonde hair through his fingers.

I shouldn’t listen to them, I think I got a chance. And I think this is my chance right now.

She walked by us, and walked down to her table. The aroma of coconut shampoo stayed in the air for a while.

I glazed across the dimly lit classroom, and saw her open a composite book with sparkles.

This was an opportunity I have to take.

I grabbed my backpack, and marched my way to her with confidence.

I can she her coming closer and closer, and my heart started to beat faster and faster.

Should I turn back? No, I already made it too far. Every head turned around, and I felt the presence of the whole class breathing down my back.

Before she can turn, I continue walking past her. I booked it straight to the door and walked out of class.

I made my way straight to the restroom, where I can hear my heart beating fast as hell. My face was a ripe tomato, and I was sweating.

I navigated myself across the dull white sinks and dirty floors tiles.

I washed my face with cold water, refreshing and soothing.

I got a notification on my cracked iPhone, it was a Snap chat.

It was from Bryan asking me what the hell did I do.

“Why, I went to the restroom.”

“lol bullshit, I think her little group caught on to your idea. I heard them talking about it.”

“Did you hear what she said.”

“No, but I did hear her giggling.”

Oh, that’s not what I wanted to hear. But what done is done. I should of asked her then and there. I’m just delaying the inevitable.

January 20, 2011

I sat in the corner now, cause I was embarrassed to face her.

I honestly am lost now, I don’t know what else to do. I been thinking of asking her out by snap chat. I’m a baby when it comes to asking her face to face, so let’s see how it goes.

There was just one slight problem though. I don’t have her snap chat.

“Hey, I know you got her on snap chat, can you give me her username?” I asked Kyle, her best friend.

“I don’t know if I should give it to you, she hasn’t mentioned you to me.” Kyle replied.

“Come on Kyle, I’ll pay you back, big time. Pleaseee.”

“Fine” Kyle reluctantly agreed.

After inserting her name into my friend’s list, I waited, and waited. I waited what felt like hours for her to accept my friend’s request. In reality, it was like 20 minutes.

January 28, 2011

The conversations were pretty straightforward. Some were even downright cringe.

I asked her how her day’s been. She would reply with a couple of words, but never ask me back.

I imagine that she is not interested in me. I think I have to try my last approach.

February 1, 2011

I woke up, and the anxiety was building up. I figured if I asked Kyle if he can ask her out for me, then I wouldn’t need to do so in person. Great idea, right?

Buzz Buzz Buzz

I picked up my phone from the restroom stand. It was from Jessica. My heart sank, and it read.

“Kyle told me. That’s sweet, but I don’t feel the same way about you. Sorry.”

Man….