Then and Now

Then

We need to talk.

Lila stared at her phone, at the last message she’d sent her boyfriend. A small frown fixated on her face as she contemplated whether there was a better way to vaguely word that she wanted to surprise him with some good news…and something more unexpected. She sighed heavily, blowing a strand of hair from her line of sight. Her foot tapped incessantly and her hand gripped her coffee mug tightly. Her gaze remained on the table, though her mind traveled elsewhere. Her head shot up when the jingle of the door sounded. A smile appeared on her face as Adrien walked in. She set her mug down.

“I was starting to think you wouldn’t show.” She motioned to the barista. “I already ordered your favorite, but didn’t want it to get cold so…”

“No worries. I won’t be here long anyway.”

Lila frowned. “Wha…why…?”

Adrien took a seat across from her and sighed, “I know what you wanted to talk about and…honestly, it’s a relief that you feel the same.”

Before Lila could respond, he gently grabbed one of her hands, “I care for you, Lila. And you’ve been nothing short of a perfect friend my entire life…but, in a few short months, I’m going to be moving over 3000 miles away and it’s highly unlikely that I’ll be coming back often.”

“I know b-”

“So, you see why it’s probably for the best that we break up now. Before things get complicated.”

The barista brought over a steaming cappuccino. “Here you go.” And left.

Lila took a deep breath, calming all the rampant emotions she felt. One of her hands subconsciously fell to her stomach. “I guess I get it…” Her eyes started to tear up, but she managed to not let any fall. “Are you sure you don’t at least want to try before deciding it’ll fail.”

He gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m moving to start fresh and I can’t do that if I still have ties to my old life. And you…you still have a year in high school. You shouldn’t be dealing with a long distance relationship.”

“Of course…” Lila could tell that if she spoke more than a few words her voice would begin to crack. Her mind screamed for her to just tell him what she needed to say. But, one look at his face and she knew it wouldn’t change a thing. She closed her eyes, smiled, albeit sadly, and squeezed his hand back, having composed herself. “Do you want me to see if they’ll make this drink to go?”

Adrien shook his head and released her hand. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his wallet. After sliding $10 over to her, he smiled and stood. “Thank you for keeping this civil.”

Now

Adrien stopped in front of a quaint, little café. It once served as his last resort studying spot in high school. The bell jingled lightly as he entered the establishment. A soft jazz tune played in the background. A pungent wave of espresso beans drifted past his nose as he took a deep breath.

Adrien stepped further into the café, not wanting to continue blocking the only exit. He stared intently at the handwritten menu strategically placed above the cashier counter, his lips pursed in concentration. The café had changed ever so slightly, with new employees, a new layout, and an altered menu.

“Alright, I’m off, Bart. Need anything else?”

His ears perked at the sound of the feminine voice. It sounded ever so familiar. It didn’t take long for his eyes to land on the source; she had come out from the back of the café and stood next to the cashier, whose name was Bart apparently.

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. “Lila?” His tone wavered, hoping that he was right.

Her attention shifted to Adrien and her eyes narrowed. She shifted her dark blue parka from one arm to the other, as she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“Adrien? Adrien Hammond?”

He took a step forward, smirking. “The one and only.”

Lila’s face brightened as she brushed a loose strand of her wavy auburn hair behind her ear. “What happened to your fancy-schmancy overseas job?”

“I decided to come visit home for the holidays. And to see about expanding my business.”

She turned back to Bart, who’d previously insisted she clock out, but was currently staring at her with a smirk and raised eyebrow.

“Want me to get the candles out, Ly?”

Adrien noticed a light pink color appear on her cheeks as she punched Bart’s arm.

“Jerk,” she muttered, though a grin crept onto her face as her coworker rubbed his arm. In a series of quick presses on a register screen, she clocked out. Her attention landed on Adrien once more and she approached him slowly. “It’s…it’s good to see you again.”

“You too. Though, I hadn’t expected you to be here. Between the two of us, you were always the one more eager to leave this place.”

Lila’s gaze fell to the floor as she shrugged on her parka, a soft smile playing at her lips. “I…found a reason to stay…”

Adrien couldn’t help but smile himself. It’d been years since they’d been together, both as a couple and just in each other’s presence. But seeing her once more, reignited the feelings he once held for her. He offered his arm. “I’ll escort you out.”

Lila raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think I need an escort?”

“Nothing. I just wanted a moment alone with you. If you don’t mind.” Adrien winked.

Bart groaned, though smiling. “Get. A. Room, you two.”

With a dismissive wave of her hand, Lila rolled her eyes. “Alright, getting out of your hair, Bart.” Not missing a beat, she looped her arm around Adrien’s. “You better close up properly or I’ll dock your pay for real this time.”

“Sure you will.” Bart chuckled and waved as the two began to exit. “Goodnight, Ly-ly.”

“Night, Barty.”

They stepped out into the snow. Lila shuddered and tugged at her parka as if it could provide more coverage. Adrien chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“You would think I’d be impervious to the cold by now.” Lila glanced up at him, a smile finding its way back onto her face. “You’re unaffected as always.”

They began walking down the street, Adrien assuming that she still lived in the same area as she had before he left. He shrugged, a playful grin tugging at his lips, “I’ve just got fire in my veins, I suppose.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever…usually an escort would ask where their charge is headed before they start walking,” She poked his side, “You’re not trying to kidnap me, are you?”

Adrien paused, “Don’t you live this way?”

“Not anymore. I moved when…” She trailed off as a car passed by. A hint of recognition sparked in her eye and she let go of Adrien’s arm. “I should go alone.”

“But-”

“Adrien, I…while, I am glad to see you, we can’t…I can’t…”

Adrien sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Can we meet up any other day? We should catch up at least.”

Lila pursed her lips then nodded. “Next Monday at 4 pm. Meet me at Grosvener’s Park.”

Before Adrien could respond, Lila briskly walked off in the opposite direction.

A new blanket of snow had fallen during the last week, making the town look even more like a typical winter wonderland. The sun made a brief appearance in the morning, only to disappear by the time Adrien left home. He drove down to the park as Lila asked in the late afternoon. For ten minutes, he stood at the park’s entrance, hands shoved into his coat pockets. He looked around for any sign of her. The park was quiet. Something Adrien appreciated.

Lila finally made her appearance, waving at Adrien from a distance. He smirked a little and waved back. “I was starting to think you were planning on leaving me waiting out here in the cold.”

“Now why would I do that?” Lila beamed innocently. She nodded towards the rest of the park. “C’mon.”

They instinctively fell into step within moments. Adrien glanced down and started to reach for her hand before catching himself and shoving his hand back in his pocket. “Why here and not somewhere warm? Like either of our homes or the cafe or the bookstore or the library?”

“Cause there’s less likely to be people out here. Meaning we have more privacy.” Lila kept her gaze ahead of her and shifted her scarf to cover more of her neck.

“I see.”

“So…I promised I’d answer any questions. Ask away.”

Without missing a beat, Adrien asked, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

Lila stopped walking and glared at him. “Seriously?”

“You said any question.”

She sighed, “Her name’s Valerie.”

Adrien furrowed his brows before nodding slightly. “I think I remember her. She graduated my year, right?”

“Yeah. But we became friends a little before we broke up. Next question.”

He pursed his lips. “My brother…mentioned something about me remembering our breakup wrong.”

“Not hearing the question.”

“Wasn’t it mutual?”

Lila remained silent. The two reached the center of the park where a now-frozen fountain laid. She made her way over to one of the nearby benches and waited for Adrien to sit next to her. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts. Slowly, she answered, “Yes and no.”

Adrien frowned, “Care to elaborate?”

“I…I didn’t ask to meet you that day to break up with you.”

“The only reason I said something that day was because I assumed you also meant to say the same thing. You literally texted-”

“I know!” Lila’s fists clenched. “In hindsight…Every day since then I’ve regretted using those words. For years, I blamed myself for you leaving me. Convinced myself that if I had said something else, we’d still…” She exhaled, her breath shaky, “I’ve spent so many sleepless nights crying because of you.”

Adrien’s face softened. “I’m…I’m sorry. But then, what did you want to talk about?”

“I was originally planning on just telling you that I’d gotten an offer from Oxford.” Lila looked down at her feet.

Adrien’s face paled. “You mean…”

“Yeah, we could’ve gone to the same school. I got the offer about a week after that acceptance party your parents threw. And two weeks after that, I uh…got some other unexpected news.”

He waited for her to go further. When she didn’t say anything else, he opened his mouth to ask, until a lightbulb went off. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I wish I could…” She looked up and pointed over to the playground area. “In about five minutes, he’ll be running over here so I can take him home.”

“Ly, if you had told me, I wouldn’t have…”

“Adrien, can you honestly tell me that you would’ve stayed? I didn’t just not go to Oxford because you went. I turned them down because I had him…” She took a deep breath, “I loved you, Adrien. So much. But, I could tell you didn’t feel the same after that day. I wasn’t so much hurt you broke up with me. What hurt was that after years of being your friend, years of being your rock, years of being nothing but loyal and kind and loving, you just…cut me out entirely.”

He looked away, his heart pounding and mind running too many thoughts to coherently speak. Once he’d found his words, he gently asked, “Do…do my parents know?”

Lila chuckled, “They probably figured it out before I did and waited for me to tell them.”

“I’m surprised none of them said anything to me.” His voice was suspiciously quiet.

“I asked them not to…it was for me to say. Plus, you shut them out too. You just let them back in sooner.”

Adrien turned to face Lila, his eyes on the verge of tears. She glanced at him and smiled slightly. “I should be the one looking like that…”

He chuckled sadly, “Right…” He took her hands, slightly surprised when she didn’t pull away. “No amount of apologies can ever make up for the pain I’ve caused you these past five years. I can’t…imagine anything that I can do that could ever repair the damage I caused.”

Lila hummed, “I got over it a couple years ago. But, you could start by…being a part of his life. As much as he and I love Valerie, he needs someone who knows how the male species works. Your dad is…old…er and mine isn’t around so…”

Adrien thought for a moment, “Are you sure…? Will he even want to know me?”

“I don’t think he’ll mind much.” Lila stood. “I’m not looking for you to be his father. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. But, I don’t think I’d feel right if I didn’t let you try to spend time with him.”

Adrien glanced over at the playground, noticing that it was suddenly swarming with children. He smiled, “Always the thoughtful one. I truly messed up my chances at having the best woman at my side.”

“I think Valerie would argue she’s the best, and I’d agree, but you really did.” She started walking over to the playground. “Come on. I know you’re dying to see him now.”