Elder Orphans — Seniors Aging Alone

The awareness of “aging alone” and its potential issues began after my parents’ passing. At the time, I had been a family caregiver to both, my Mother and Father. He lived with Alzheimer’s Disease and Mother lived with a chronic heart condition. They required a lot of hands-on attention and care. If it had not been for my two sisters and me, I quiver to think how they’d get by.

After their passing, it occurred to me that I will have no one to rely on for help, the kind my parents needed. You see, I am not married nor do I have offspring.

That was ten years ago, and fast forward to now, I’m in my mid-sixties, living alone, and in good health.

Twenty-nine percent of the 65 plus population live alone, according to the U.S. Census (2015.)

Because there are many individuals in the aging alone predicament, I started a Facebook group called Elder Orphans in 2016. The purpose to start it was strictly selfish on my part. I knew there must be others who crave association and connection.

Today, we are 6800+ strong. We are particular about who qualifies: must meet an age requirement (55+), have no offspring, and no spouse or partner. The members in the group are very adamant and vocal that the requirements be met. Most opt for the “pure” elder orphan mentality.

However, for me, I know many seniors who do have children but the offspring are not available to offer companionship, caregiving, or any other type of connection. What happens to them? They too feel alone, disconnected, and doing everything they can to get by.

It’s my hope that older adults, no matter the circumstances, have their needs for social connection and support met. And it’s the reason for creating the Elder Orphans Project.

Creating Awareness

Our society thrives on preconceived perceptions. As adults, we’re married with 2.5 children. We own a home, two cars, have a college education, a good job, a savings account and take at least one vacation a year. Did I miss anything? Probably, but you get the idea.

The Elder Orphans Project hopes to weaken this persistent concepts. And if a person doesn’t meet the criteria of normal, then diminish judgement about living differently.

By building awareness through stories of seniors aging alone, the Elder Orphans Project will have the potential to shift from ageism to respect, from weak to able, from alone to connected, from abandon to support, from incompetent to resourceful, from dependent to helpful, and from parasite to participant.

It’s a big undertaking. And it needs help to grow and change the difficult “alone-ness” that many older people feel.

In addition to that, so many other topics and issues about growing older in America needs attention.

In the elder orphan Facebook group, we also discuss matters such as:

• getting around without having to drive
• finding an affordable place to to live
• making medical arrangements
• having someone look after us when care needs come up
• locating and appointing a trustworthy health care proxy
• relieving financial worries
• staying physically active and mentally capable
• maintaining hobbies
• learning new skills
• getting a job

With the help of experts and professionals in aging, the Elder Orphan Project can be a movement to improve growing older in America.