Crush Self Doubt before it Crushes You.
I used to have moments of crippling self doubt, where I would sit in front of my computer, watching the minutes tick by and not being able to process my decisions at all. I felt frozen, and helpless because I was afraid that I wasn’t capable of doing what I had in front of me. So I decided to crush my own self doubt and here’s what I learned.
When Self Doubt Paralyzes You, Here’s a Mechanism that Worked for Me
I read this somewhere in the black hole that is Instagram. It was a post on uneasiness or nagging self doubt. When feeling this way, there are questions you can ask yourself to clarify where the self doubt was coming from. Questions to ask are, “Who said that? Did you hear it from someone’s mouth? Is that coming from you own mind or did someone literally tell you to your face? Does that person matter to you? If not, why do you care? If you do, perhaps that negative person shouldn’t be in your life.What’s the worst possible outcome? Does the goal or does the result matter?”
Upon realizing that the crippling self doubt is coming from your own insecurities and that it was actually yourself holding you back, the self doubt dulls down and eventually dissipates. I shake off the self doubt, and go off to do what I want.
Confidence comes with Courage
Confidence is not built over night. It’s built on the premise of your accomplishments and achievements, but with that, it also means you will need to learn how to fail many times. Courage comes with attempting something that may result in failure, but you do it anyways and relish the experience.
Self doubt is sly. It slithers into your conscious, making you question your self worth, your capabilities, and your value. But you should remember that you own your conscious, that your thoughts can be controlled and changed. When you do something for the first time, it seems awkward and unnatural. When you do it over and over again, you train a memory muscle and become better at it, building confidence in yourself that you know how to do this specific task.
It’s important to just start, even if it’s a little bit a day
I recognize that when people normally set goals, it’s a big statement. I want to lose 15 lbs. I want to run a marathon. I want to start a YouTube channel. These were all goals I’ve wanted to set for myself, yet when I think of the mechanics of the entirety of how much work to put into completing the goal, I get overwhelmed and tend to stop. Self doubt is a massive hinderance at the start, so I’d recommend breaking your goal into small pieces that don’t overwhelm you.
Just start doing. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but it has to be something — an action. James Clear quoted, “Breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions, which build up the potential required to unleash a major change.” Those breakthrough moments will crush self doubt before it crushes you.
Emily is a US expat currently living in Singapore to learn about the tech communities growing in Asia. She has worked 4+ years in dev relations, community management, and event marketing within the tech and travel industry. Her time at OmniSci, Google and Booking.com gave her cross-functional expertise. In her free time, she is the host for the Asian Female Lead podcast and documents her life journey in digital at The Fang Girl. You can watch her YouTube vlogs.
