“Dr. B. told me Nathan was on a respirator and had a 50/50 chance and told me all complications that could develop. He [Nathan] looked so pitiful, so tiny and frail. He had tubes, wires, monitors, and so many foreign things hooked up to him,” said my mom, Deanie Todd.
You see, I was born eight weeks premature, and I have a disability known as Cerebral Palsy.
Are you thinking what does this have to do with showing up?
My answer would be EVERYTHING!
When you are born with a disability, the narrative of what is possible for you comes with a big list of complications, can’t dos, and limitations. Society’s expectation of what it means to show up for you is very small. People are surprised if you graduate from school, get a job, and get married. Most of the time you feel like your voice isn’t heard, people underestimate you, and people don’t see you for you.
Here’s what I believe. Regardless of whether you have a disability or not, you have felt the pain of living the life you are “supposed” to? Each of us have at some point in our lives worn labels to please other people. You are great at playing roles to please others. You show up daily regardless of circumstance. Do you do it for yourself?
When showing up for yourself it is like presenting your courageous and authentic self to the world, even though you’re secretly worried about judgement. Showing up for yourself is important because your potential becomes someone else’s limitation. You are much more than someone else’s limitation!
Here are lessons I’ve learned about showing up for myself:
I have to make a choice. I had a friend tell me the moment I decided to show up for myself it was because I was tired of lying to myself. You have to make the choice for yourself. He made the choice that he was going to speak his truth for himself. You have to decide it’s time to show up for you. Are you ready to choose you?
It requires the acceptance of your insecurity and creates the opportunity for you to be authentic to you. I am a guy who walks funny, who can’t stand for a long period of time, and gets stared at daily. The moment I accepted my insecurities and started sharing them was the moment I made massive shifts in my confidence. What are you scared to step into?
It is personal. Showing up is personal to everyone. How you define it is unique to you. The most important thing you can do is get clear on what you want, and what it looks like to you.
Now let’s get into some practical things you can do to begin to show up for yourself.
Go buy a pack of name labels. Every morning I want you to write an empowering “You are…” statement. For example…
You are enough. You are smart. You are powerful. You are accepting. If you do this for two weeks, then you will see the positive changes in the choices you make.
List 5 things that you love about you.
Is it your sense of humor?
Is it your ability to be a parent?
Are you compassionate?
What do you love about you and often forget to celebrate?
Define Showing Up
Remember, it’s personal to you. I want you to grab a note card, write “Showing up for myself is…” and fill out your definition and why it’s important to you.
The moment you peel back the label of others’ expectations is the moment you step into limitless possibilities.
