Photo by Stefania Lisa Pozza on Unsplash

Life After My Step Fathers Death

My stepfather, Victor Allen Jordan Sr. (aka Pops) passed on January 26th. 2020. The same day as Kobe Bryant. The funny thing is, he was worried about my brother that day because he was a Kobe fan. His death has left a mark on our family that will never go away. It seems as if he left behind nothing but love and gentleness meant to be spread in the mourning of our loss. My mother, now a widow, is probably the strongest woman I know. She’s so strong. I watch her make strides everyday. Don’t get me wrong, its a struggle some days, but The Spirit is relentlessly working through and all around her. And where she drops off I pick up. Its that simple. We all took Pops death hard and still are. I have my moments, but people tell me to stay strong for my mother and the rest of my family. And I am, but not because I’m repressing my emotions. Like I said, I had and have my moments….I just have been on an amazing spiritual journey that I need to start speaking more about. My understanding on things grew deeper and deeper as I dove deeper into myself and started asking questions that only God could give me the answers to. I found myself knowing consciousness and elevating at an accelerated rate. I started facing my fears and kicking their ass everyday. One fear I faced was the fear of Death. I think we all wonder what happens when we die. That thought is unfathomable to most and fear causes us to stray away from it. What I found out is that I had to speak to death to face it.

Once You're no longer afraid to die, You're no longer afraid to live

— Will Smith

The first letter to death was predicated off a task from a book I was reading called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. One of the chapters spoke about embracing the angel of death stating “What the angel of death can teach us is how to be truly alive. We become aware that we can die at any moment; we have just the present to be alive.” This teaches us to be grateful for life and how death teaches the living to live. My mother has always said “Death is for the living”. So i wrote a letter to death in June of 2019. After a while, multiple events happened. I started meditating more and diving into the quantum field. At this time, I started following the research and reading the studies done by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I was at an all time high when it came to peace, self love, and gratitude for the present moment. But the law of Balance says this,if the pendulum swings one way, it has to swing to the other and eventually balance will restore itself. I went through somethings mentally and emotionally as I was getting my contract, transitioning into my own business, and other personal matters. Through it all, I forgot about the letter I wrote to the angel of Death.

When my step father died. It was unexpected, out of the blue, and a fucking nightmare. I was just coming out of a state of mental drifting, boom. Our lives were shaken upside down that fast. And its weird, its like the more I know myself, the more I understand Everything. Including Life and Death. Below are letters I wrote to and about Death or the Angel of Death before and after my stepfather’s death. I find it interesting how my letters correlate with each other. Consciousness reminds consciousness about consciousness. Below I start from the latest one I wrote which was after Pop’s death to the earliest one all the way before Pop’s death.

The first two letters were written after my step father passed and the last two were written before. The depth and reality the situation at hand is brought to a conclusion by the experience of consciousnesses behind what is written.

2/16/20

Death,

I guess this is another convo we have to have. You're probably the closest I've seen you in a while. What are you trying to show me? I guess that’s a question for myself. What have you truly taught me? How should i feel about you? You’re so horrific and sometimes you can have no compassion at all. But, you’re so beautiful. You’re so feared, but so necessary. Are you necessary? The human mind on its lower frequency or vibration can’t fathom the thought of you. I know its a tricky thing, but I have to get comfortable with you, we all do…. Because you’re not all bad. You really aren’t bad at all. We made it that way because we don’t know you. I know that I have to be conscious of you and unafraid to meet you. I am an immortal being and I live on forever and ever as I please. I love you Death. I love you…So Much

2/3/20

Death,

How you come so noticeable. Like you're close, but you had to surprise everyone with your sneakiness. So rude, so devastating. I know that you come for souls, but not the ones you help bring or take back to oneness (or the other side), but the one who dwell among them. That group or body of people that they knew. That they touched. That they impacted. Death… I know who you come for, you come for the living. Or the ones you leave living.

What a tuff mark you leave. What a terrifying blow to those who don’t understand you. But Death, I understand you. I don’t know you in a physical sense. I’ve seen you, but I wont fully know you until the day we meet. Only then I or anyone else for that matter will know your secret.

The next two letters came before my step fathers death. I remind you, in this period of my life I was and still am on a path of full enlightenment and awakening. I came to conclusions do to me diving with in and having conversations with divine consciousness. I aim to be a truth seeker and a truth speaker. You can find truth in everything. You just have to open your eyes. It all starts with in. I read things that challenge me or grow me in any way for the better. That means spiritually and mentally.

8/28/19

Becoming Supernatural has been a big help when it comes to my personal development. Napoleons Outwitting the Devil was something powerful that came from his own mind. Infinite Intelligence or God is what spoke through him in the form of the “Devil”. We create our own devils due to the world around us. The people who understand this become the problem. Their love for material things and desires are what is used to cultivate negativity while people are on this Earth. I believe that people awaken once they “die” or cross over. They see their mistakes and have to fix them in the next life. Now, the lower level frequencies who don’t understand or who refuse to understand us as a whole, dwell. I think that is true. I believe you must know truth no matter what dimension you live in. Then again, do we really know? We can have an idea. I do know that physical death isn't death. I do know, we come from God and shall return. I do know we are one with everything around us. The only way to live is in Unconditional Love. That’s all there is to know. And that is all you have to know. But you have to know what true love is.

During this time period I found a lot of truth in the books I read. I’m a believer you can find truth anywhere. You just have to open your eyes and see, and open you ears and hear. One book in particular challenged and pushed me to embrace and face the Angel of Death by writing a letter to it. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is that book. It gives you agreements to follow to ensure a peaceful passage and way of life for happiness and elevation.The thought of death, Fear rather, haunts man and stalks the man. It is one of 7 deadly fears. To face and embrace death is to be set free and to live out your best life accepting death in totality for the unknown beauty it is. Facing that fear is something I took on the challenge of doing. Below is the initial letter.

June 2019

Dear Angel of Death,

You can take me away at any moment, at anytime. Thank You for allowing me to be here. Thank you for all you have done. I can die at any moment and I love you. I love life, I love this time, and I love God. This reality can be taken away but my spirit lives on forever and ever. Thank You. Thank you. Thank You. I will live because I have the gift of living. It is life that is within me and all around me and I must love because I am love. The fire is a blaze and has been a blaze my whole life. I must reserve the flame and spread it as long as you allow me to. We never truly die. We just leave this hell hole. Thank you for allowing and teaching me to let go of the past and helping transition into this heaven of a future I have in every breathe I take and move I make. Thank You God for bringing me to the gates of Heaven and allowing me to walk through and be in Bliss. God is so good. Thank You!

To see my consciousness transition on paper as I accept death in the intangible form to seeing and being so close to it in “real time” was and is mind boggling. I was getting to know and accept death before my step father passed. I knew before and I know now that death is a transition. It was never a means to and end, but a means to return home. We all come from one place and shall return. Our bodies are our vessels not who we are. Which is why we say “my body hurts”, who is the person or thing that possesses the body? Much like we possess a car and can say “my car”. Your body is your body, so you say “your body hurts” but who are you?

Death is not a bad thing. We make it bad. Yes, its sad because the individual we knew and loved has is no longer with us, but we learn so many lessons in death. That’s why death is for the living. I encourage you all not to worry about death or stay away from the thought. Its something that has to be faced to live a full and happy life.

Its also something that must be talked about amongst family because that transition is inevitable and we all must have some type of idea of what to do if anything was to happen to our loved ones unexpectedly. What are we to do with all of their possessions? Who will take over their responsibilities? How will things be taken care of? These are hard questions that have to be answered and known about ourselves and our loves ones. That is some of the best advice I could give after experiencing and dealing with the situation up close.

In time, things are revealed to us. We never know why things happen. I was once told that Choice, Change, and Death are inevitable. I would now say that Death and Change are the same thing. Energy is never gained nor lost, but transferred. We never truly die. We never truly leave. We simply transform into or return to the greater whole of who we are. Oneness.

Don’t fear death. In other words, Don’t fear change. With the world in a constant state of fear, I encourage you not to worry. I encourage you to live in the present and focus your attention only on the positives. What are you grateful for in this moment right now? Look at the people around you, who are you grateful for?

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