Playing with Purpose
Last week we began our exploration of purpose, which landed on the not-surprising conclusion that finding one’s purpose can feel difficult and, if that search has not yet yielded any results, lousy or discomfiting. This week we will continue this exploration and add to it some playful exercises to help enliven that search and hopefully help you start to connect with the purposeful life you are already living.
Play? But it’s Wednesday (or whatever day it is)…
Perhaps you felt a slight recoiling upon reading the word play. Perhaps you thought “Play? Now??? It is Wednesday night!”. Maybe your list of dones and not dones are duking it out in the back alley of your brain and you aren’t feeling particularly playful. I understand that. I had to break up a similar fight just to write this article. But accessing that spirit and practice of play can be a fast track to insight.
In his amazing and illuminating book, Play, How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, Stuart Brown writes,
“Another hallmark of play is that it has improvisational potential. We aren’t locked into a rigid way of doing this. We are open to serendipity, to chance. We are willing to include seemingly irrelevant elements into our play. The act of play itself may be outside of ‘normal’ activates. The result is that we stumble upon new behaviors, thoughts, strategies, movements, or ways of being. We see things in a different way and have fresh insights…Those insights weren’t the reason they played, but they arrived as the result of it. You never really know what is going to happen when you play (Brown, 18).”
A fast track to stumbling on “new” thinking is to apply old thinking to new scenarios or vice versa. Approaching challenges with a playful stance can be a great way to do this. Play need not be high-energy or chaotic. For any of you that have observed a child, deep into the work of world building with whatever objects they have on hand, know that the work of play can be quiet, curious, and deeply engaged.
Yes, there are absolutely people that are on this planet who feel that they have a clear sense of why they are here, what they intend to do in whatever time afforded to them, and how to do it. Then there are those who don’t. Cue the discomfiting music.
A Desire to Name It
Lodged in that longing for finding a larger purpose can be a desire to be able to name that which is or is not in alignment with this amorphous vision of who we want to be, how we want to move in the world, and what we want to contribute.
We want an outline or edge to measure our action against. Is X action in alignment with our larger purpose? Yay or nay? “I don’t want to do this because…” or conversely, “I want to do this because….”. Arguably, figuring what you don’t want to do, or shouldn’t do is as important as figuring out what you want to do.
So the next time you feel those tiny stirrings of what is important. Stop. Pause. Attend to what is calling your attention and name it or….
How to Play Envelope Full of Potential (aka Start with What You No)
Were I able to track how many children in the world used the word “no” as their first word, the number would be far too large to write out in polite company. “No” is a demarcation. A heartfelt no, or turning away, is chock full of valuable information, so let’s play with it.
This exercise will take about ten minutes.
Preparation
Grab a few sheets of paper. For the first sheet, orient it in landscape mode and fold it into thirds. Grab your writing instrument of choice and if you are so inclined put on some music.
Play
1. Take a deep breath and take a moment to consider, what are some things that you know you don’t want to do? Things that, when offered you were absolutely clear that this was something that you did NOT want to do.
2. In the first column write the word “no” at the top and write down as many as you can think of. These can be big life changing nos or small inconsequential ones. Whatever no appears on your list, welcome it. Done? Take a breath.
3. Now pick one of these. You can either close your eyes and drop a finger to the page and pick whichever is closest or you can quickly select one.
4. Take another deep breath. Now that you have found your no, spend a moment to consider how that strong no felt. What if any sensations did you notice? What thoughts or insights came to mind? We are incredibly crafted creatures with an amazing array of sensing equipment and we are designed that way to collect information that will help us survive and thrive in the world.
5. In the middle column write, “information” and write down those feelings, thoughts, or sensations. Again, if you are so inclined set a timer for two minutes.
6. Take a breath. At the top of the third column write, “aspirations” Make a list of what the opposite of that feeling might be. For those feelings or sensations that have a range of expression, what might a more positively charged experience feel like, for example nervousness vs. excitement.
7. Take another deep breath and on the third column, make a list of activities that you have done (this can be at any time during your life) that you felt that sensation or feeling.
8. Take another deep breath, flip the page over and write down any thoughts or insights that appear. Feel free to share them below.
9. If you want to keep playing, grab an envelope, write “envelope full of potential” on the front, nicely fold your lists, put them in the envelope and put it aside somewhere where you will find it so you can access it next week, when we will do some time traveling.
If you did or do the exercise, I’d love to hear your reflections.
Sources:
Brown, Stuart, Play, How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination and Invigorates the Soul, Penguin Group, New York, NY, 2010.
