Purpose, Pajamas, and the Choices We Can Make
Last week we continued our exploration of purpose with an exercise that played with that age old adage “start with what you no” because sometimes figuring out what you don’t want to do is easier than figuring out what you do want to do.
This week we will continue this exploration and add to it another exercise to help enliven that search and hopefully help you connect with the purposeful life you are already living.
Finding Time
Very few of us know the time lens of our life. We could have more years, or less years, or something in between. The past year has painfully reminded us how vulnerable we are to the vicissitudes of chance and global events that know no boundaries.
The uncertainty of when that ultimate end might come is oft accompanied by that nagging notion of what to do with the intervening time. One of the manifestations of that nagging is a desire to have a purpose.
There are those that step into this life and shortly thereafter are joined by a sense of purpose. These lucky people have a clear sense of why they are here, what they intend to do in whatever time afforded to them, and how to do it. Then there are those who don’t. For those of us with less certitude, staring at the gaping maw of undirected decades of time can be daunting. For those of you that have been reading this series, you might recall that the first recorded uses of the word purpose appeared in the 13th century, thus it is perhaps not surprising that first recorded uses of the word daunting appeared about the same time, emerging from the Middle English, from Anglo-French danter, daunter, from Latin domitare to tame, frequentative of domare (Merriam-Webster.com).
A thought experiment
To grapple with this notion of scale and time, let’s try a little thought experiment. Imagine if you, as soon as you were old enough to decide for yourself, could claim one outfit that you would wear for the rest of your life. And let’s also say that for the purposes of this thought experiment that that your chosen outfit would grow with you. Take a moment to rocket yourself back in time, traverse the landscape of early memories, and imagine what your then self might chose to wear.
I’d either be wearing pink footy pajamas (which actually seems a bit appealing right now) or a Winne the Poo Raincoat since both of those garments were some of the first things, I remember choosing to wear.
No matter what the occasion, no matter what the weather, no matter what the desired level of formality, informality, comport, whatever, there you are in your footy pajamas.
Perhaps this seems ridiculous, and yes perhaps given how many of us have been cast into the virtual world, wearing footy pajamas to your next meeting might be possible.
The more things change…
The point is that our lives that are constantly changing. Even if it might not feel like that now, the world or envelope that contains them is — -especially in this time, considering the gravity of all that is the all right now. Should not our purpose be a bit more adaptable as well?
Now imagine choosing an outfit for the next hour. You might know you are going outside, so if you are in the world of winter right now, you might want a coat with that. Imagine getting to choose more than one outfit. Imagine packing a suitcase for a short trip.
So, just as picking a garment that is well-suited (hah-hah) for the entirety of our life is daunting, so too is picking a purpose.
The hat trick
The simple trick is this: if you are struggling with finding a purpose, change the time frame. Start by spooling back the fabric of that great bolt of time. You might not be able to figure out the purpose of your great, giant, wonderful life, but you very well can figure out the purpose of this day or this moment. What purpose will you “wear” today.
Start with intention
And you can start that process by thinking of intention versus purpose. Words are amazing linguistic suitcases into which all sorts of other words and meanings are confused. Packed in the suitcase of purpose is the word intention.
What is your intention for this moment, this day, this month, this year?
You might not know how this tiny intention threads into the greater magnificent why, but you most certainly set an intention, send a wish out into the universe: act kindly, skip around the hallway, finally make that call, finish that report. Your purpose can last a minute it can last a lifetime and you get to play with telescoping time. Wildy practical, wildly impractical. Possible. Impossible. Actual. Aspirational.
And speaking of aspirational
For those of you that have been playing at home, go back to last week’s exercise and grab that Envelope of Possible. If you didn’t yet you can either click on the link and do that step or just proceed as if you have.
How to Play
This exercise should take about five minutes.
- Grab a few sticky notes, index cards or slips of paper.
- Take a moment just to read over what you wrote last week. Either select a few words from the “aspiration” column or close your eyes and randomly select them them. Then write them on a sticky note, index card or slip of paper.
- Keep it where you can see it and…
- If you are so inclined say it out loud, “today, my purpose is to act with X” or something along those lines.
- Set a reminder for the end of the day, and, at the end of your day set aside a few minutes to reflect on how setting an intention shaped the day.
- As always, if you complete the exercise I’d love to hear your thoughts or reflections.
Most of us do not know how much time we have afforded to us. What is afforded to us is that we have some say in how we spend it. Intention and purpose are scaleable. Even if the shape of our days is often beyond our control, we can give voice to those tiny aspirations of how we want to show up in the world, what we want to bring to it, and how we are there for others.
Sources:
“Daunt” and “Purpose” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/daunt. Accessed 10 Feb. 2021.
