MEMOIR
I’m Relieved My Son Has Autism
Everything suddenly makes sense
This past fall, my son’s therapist asked me to attend their next session so that Holden could “tell me something.” I immediately assumed that Holden was going to announce he was gay or transgender. I couldn’t think of anything else would prompt a sixteen-year-old to have his mother join him at therapy for a big reveal while being un-urgent enough to warrant a weeklong wait until his next appointment.
I tried not to dwell on all the possibilities and instead focused on the love and acceptance that I would shower Holden with upon his announcement. I hoped that his revelation would finally bring him some peace and pave the way for better days ahead.
The previous eight months had been a sheer hell for Holden, and they weren’t much better for me or my husband, Jack, either. There was obviously something significant going on with Holden. There always had been, right from the start.
Our favorite baby picture of Holden was taken when he was only two weeks old, propped up on the couch in a blue felt blanket. His surprisingly thick blonde hair is standing straight up. His eyes are focused on something to his left, his expression serious, as if he were already contemplating the mysteries of the universe.
