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RELIGION

Looking For God, Sitting In Hell

A spiritual journey for meaning in a crumbling world

David Todd McCarty
Ellemeno
Published in
11 min readJan 11, 2025

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

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I do not like religion. Not for the most part. A lot of bad juju has been inflicted upon humanity in the name of your god being better than my god, or vice versa. It’s like two siblings arguing over who has the best dad. You either both have the same dad, or there is no dad. Either way, the argument is petty and childish, the ancient equivalent of my dad can beat up your dad. Whoever won that argument?

I no longer have any respect for the church I grew up in. Not the individual congregation I attended, but the larger conceit of the Christian church in late 20th-century America. They sold us a bill of goods promising love, peace, grace, forgiveness, and everlasting life, and then abandoned it all to follow a godless orange clown in some fever-dream quest for power and nostalgia. It’s enough to make you question the very existence of God. These are your people? You should come get them. They’re out of hand.

Still, I yearn for God, at times. Even if I don’t entirely know what that means. Who or what do I think God is, and what do I think I’m missing? I have no idea. But I know other people who seek God without falling into the cult…

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Ellemeno
Ellemeno

Published in Ellemeno

A literary journal dedicated to the exploration of life, memoir, culture, travel, and writing.

David Todd McCarty
David Todd McCarty

Written by David Todd McCarty

A cranky romantic searching for hope and humor. I tell stories. Most of them are true. I’m not at all interested in your outrage, but I do feel your pain.

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