POETRY
Psalm for a One Night Stand
A sacred song for sex that wasn’t worth 80€
i tell him
i am not going home with you
but we start kissing in the park
germans are very good kissers
their white man sense of entitlement turns into
strength of hand lip tongue
i am going to go here now and you are going to like it
yes
i am
the next time i kiss someone
i want to want to
(selah)
thick dark curly hair
air of soft confidence
weathered maturity
versus the helpless beard
high voice round back weak arms
i want to give you a chiropractic adjustment
my brain works hard to piece this puzzle together
am i turned on?
am i turned off?
i am turned off
i don’t like people who know everything
i like not knowing
i am full of not knowing
i want a comrade in curiosity
show me your bruises of being unsure
(selah)
when a man pays 80€ for a meal and i go home with him
is that prostitution?
am i repeating
what i had with my husband?
financial dependency
yes…
i need to save my money
i need to have sex
these two needs get met tonight
something
feels
off
(selah)
the sex is robotic
even though we are two new bodies
there is nothing new between us
we are both doing the moves we usually do
not exploring each other
i don’t want to…
i am not interested
i am turned off by the whiteness of it all
(selah)
i seek out men i feel safe with
not whom i am attracted to
that is where i am now
i wish to be brave
i wish to ask for something different
but i do not trust handsome people
