Chapter 20 — BEST DRINKING GAME EVER.

I’m taking a break from the serious-ness for a day.

Okay, so this Chapter isn’t exactly about me ‘Moving Mountains’ but it’s Saturday and I’m hoping that my click-baity title dragged a few of you in. If it did, I apologise, but it works.

To quickly recap this week though, it’s been a weird one. I’ve been super busy, but I don’t really feel like I’ve done a lot. The effort to work-completed ratio has been totally out of whack since Monday.

But I get weeks like these, we all do. I’ve purposefully made sure this Monday is an early start so that next week gets off on the right foot.

Right now though, I’m excited. In my lame, uniquely Elliot way, I am excited. Why? Because I got a parcel today.

And that parcel included these:

Cheek retractor, mouth opener, C-shape dental lip things… I’ve honestly no idea what they’re actually called. But they’ve jumped in to the spotlight recently because of some videos posted on the ol’ YouTube.

I haven’t really done all that much research, but I think it was James Corden who got everyone talking with this video at the start of April.

I don’t find this one all that funny, but once you’re down the rabbit hole, you either stumble across some really good stuff, or really weird stuff.

Luckily, I found good stuff. I won’t ramble on, but check out my favourite videos out here, here and especially here.

One thing I noted, out of the handful of videos I’ve watched, is that no one has yet coupled these mouth retractors with alcoholic beverages.

So, being the still-kinda-student that I am, I’ve created what I believe to be the best drinking game ever. In theory.

First you’ll need at least four people and then the same number of mouth guard/retractor things. You can buy them here, unless you plan to pass them around. But I’d suggest not doing that, because mouth germs.

Next, split in to two teams. With your teammates, jot down some lines to give to the other team. Be smart about it — there are certain letters that are damn hard to pronounce with these things in your mouth.

Once both teams have a pile of phrases from the other team, one person retracts their cheeks and picks up a phrase. Then it’s down to the rest of that person’s team to guess the phrase within a certain time limit.

If the in-play team guesses correctly, the other team drinks. If the timer runs out, the in-play team drinks.

Then someone from the other team picks up a phrase and the process repeats. Simple, right?

It’s not something you can play straight away tonight, but get the mouth guards on order and you’ll be all set once they arrive.

And even if you don’t play a drinking game with them, they’re hilarious for normal conversation.

Normal, serious order shall resume tomorrow. Cya.