Chapter 50 — Time flies.
It’s true what they say.
I did have a Chapter idea all planned out in my little noggin, but I had an interesting experience before I sat down to write, so that’s knocked me for six a bit.
I’m thinking I’ll just write for the next hour and see where it takes us. My brain isn’t quite prepared to do it any other way right now.
Today has been an odd one. I travelled back to Barrow this morning especially for my sister’s prom which I literally was not allowed to miss. Not that I wanted to, but if I’d have even hinted at not being able to make it, my sister would’ve made my life hell. And anyone with a younger sister knows what I mean by hell. I mean literal hell.
So I hopped on a mid-morning train back to my hometown and here I am, sat in my own room typing stuff.
But the reason I say this day has been odd is that, all of a sudden, my brain seems to have realised just how much has changed and happened since my prom five years ago.
I mean, it’s insane. I can’t wrap my head around how much has gone on. That’s just life I guess, but thinking back five years, I’m a completely different person now. I couldn’t possibly type it all here, but so much has changed.
Five years ago I’d just left a relationship that was the epitome of a teenage romance. It made no sense and yet it happened. And as quick as it happened, it ended. But it was undoubtedly for the best that it did.
I was set to go to prom with that girl. Instead I went with all of my mates, who I hardly spend time with any more but we share that kind of friendship where it doesn’t really matter. Keep us apart for 10 years and we’d still crack the same jokes as soon as we got back together as a group.
Five years ago I started college to do A-Levels. At the end of those two years I’d exceeded my own expectations with an A* in English Language. I’d consistently sat in the middle ground, never achieving above or below a B in Government and Politics. And I’d hated nearly every second of my struggle to manage a C in ICT Applied.
Three years ago I started university, and what a whirlwind that was. I still can’t quite believe that it’s over. It only feels like yesterday when I said goodbye to my parents after they’d moved me in to halls, and then sat on my bed and nearly had a breakdown. I held myself together, but in that moment it all hit me; I’d left a girlfriend back here in Barrow who was devastated to see me leave, I didn’t have a clue what was coming up over the next few years, and right there and then I had absolutely no one to lean on. It was just me, in a box room, with more unpacking to do and nine strangers to make friends with. No wonder people sack off university soon after starting, it’s tough.
I made it through those first few hours of uncertainty though, and my life has been incredible ever since. I’d recommend university to anyone, because if you can cope with that initial terror, you’re absolutely golden for the best three years of your life.
Those years are filled with every emotion imaginable of course, but I’ve smiled more than I’ve frowned. I’ve laughed more than I’ve cried. I’ve jumped for joy more than I’ve punched a pillow in anger. Nothing has made me happier than being in Manchester, surrounded by people who arrived in my life as strangers but are now more like family.
There’s Abbie, who I’ve seen or spoken to or text nearly every day since September 2013, and who means more to me than almost anyone in the world.
There’s James, who I’ve missed like hell this past year since he decided to skip out of Manchester and do a placement elsewhere.
There’s Kerry, who always seems to stumble at the moment I’m positioned perfectly to catch her. Plus, I think we’ve watched Frozen together like three or four times, so that’s a bond which will last forever.
There’s Dale, who infuriates me far too regularly for it to be healthy. And then it’d also make sense to mention Ross here, because between us we’ve got a little squad going on, bonded by our love of football and Liverpool. It’s a three-way match made in heaven.
Then there’s Jake and Sophie and Chris and Kim and Wes and Gibb and Julia (and Nemo) and I wish I could go on and I’ve definitely missed people but I need to finally get to Jen.
Jen. Who is hilarious and frustrating and loving and moody and kind and has opened my mind more than I ever thought possible. We’re so different that we are quite literally the yin to each other’s yang, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
So much has changed in five years, and seeing my sister head off to prom with her boyfriend Adam just sent my head spinning.
Where has that time gone?
Even right now I’m thinking back 50 days to when I started these Chapters. 50 seemed like such a massive number then, but I’ve got here.
Here.
Here, with a 2:1 graded Bachelor of Arts degree in my back pocket. Here, with no job but finally an idea of what I want to do. Here, with a family that couldn’t have done more for me. Here, with a whole world of possibilities in front of me.
Five years down the line, what’s that going to be like?
Everything Else…
… and breathe.
Thanks for reading today’s stream of consciousness!
As always, follow me on Twitter or Instagram by clicking the words. My username on each platform is EllMorrow.
Give me some green love if you enjoy my writing, and if you’re really obsessed, click that follow button.
Here’s your gif of the day:
