Your comfort zone is everything, until you need to destroy it
7:30am on a Sunday morning.
Too early, but I was awake.
I had somewhere to be.
9:45am on a Sunday morning.
Right on time, I’d arrived.
Rise, Deansgate. A TED talk style public speaking course.
Super exciting.
I almost didn’t make it though. For some reason my mind wandered at 8am while I ate breakfast.
Do you have to go?
Do you really want to do this?
All feels a bit daunting, doesn’t it? How about we do something else with our day?
Nerves, as you’d expect. Nothing more, nothing less. I let those doubts swirl around, considered them for a second and then caught them, silenced their questions. I knew I was going.
It was time to destroy my comfort zone.
There were only four of us: Craig (the instructor), myself and two others, Rana and Antony. A few more should’ve arrived, but they didn’t.
Maybe the nerves got to them.
But the low numbers made it better, as low numbers tend to do sometimes. It was easier to get up on to the stage and talk to only three people. The feedback we gave to each other was swift and detailed. And Craig had the opportunity to really cater the session towards our specific needs.
We started by simply talking about TED: what made a TED Talk, a TED Talk?
Swiftly on, Craig got us all up on stage and sorted our posture.
Feet planted, shoulders relaxed, letting all of your weight fall through you and in to the floor.
Pretty simple so far.
Then, we were asked to talk. The comfort blanket was snatched away from each of us, one at a time.
Elliot, you’re a world expert in wedding photography. Tell us about it. Improvise.
Uh, okay.
I was last to go up. I was nervous. Then I spoke, and I felt more comfortable. I stumbled, and I got more nervous. My knees shook a bit.
Bad day to wear shorts.
But with posture as good as I could manage with the shakes, on I went.
None of it made any sense, but it didn’t matter. The content wasn’t important. The important part was the fact I’d stepped out of my comfort zone. And I’d survived.
We continued. We offered each other advice. Then we talked about style — the development of audience curiosity, taking your listeners on an emotional rollercoaster; down and then right back up.
Next, more speaking.
Man, and I’d just settled back in to my comfort zone again.
Craig gave us each an object to talk about. Antony and Rana did a great job. I was last to go, again.
My object was ice cream. The mind went vanilla. I know nothing of substance about ice cream.
I began, but I struggled to make my audience curious about ice cream. Then I had no story with which to dive deep in to an emotional chasm.
It’s just ice cream.
But Craig saw this, as did Antony and Rana. No worries, Craig said, tell us a positive story about an individual affected by ice cream.
Boom. I hit my stride.
This man, he had been eating bad ice cream every day for ten years. He lost his job. He gained weight. His wife left him and took the kids. Eating bad ice cream every day basically turned him in to a vegetable.
The content didn’t matter. I was on a roll.
His life was a mess. That was, until he met me.
He asked ‘Where am I going wrong?’.
I said ‘You’re eating bad ice cream, you should be eating this,’ and I pulled out a good ice cream.
‘What’s the difference?’ he asked.
‘This has no sugar in’ I replied.
Shocked, he said: ‘I didn’t know there was a difference.’
And so he took the ice cream, and as the coldness hit his mouth, he smiled. He hasn’t touched bad ice cream since. He has a new job, a new wife, he’s seen his kids for the first time in three years. He’s smiling every day again, and it was all down to good ice cream.
Sounds stupid, right? But it was less about what I was saying and more about the fact I was on stage saying it.
Twice I’d forced myself to be uncomfortable, and twice I’d emerged from the other side more confident. The zone was crumbling.
Hey, I thought, this public speaking thing ain’t so bad.
Craig moved us on to structure next: 1–3–1.
Opening. Body with three supporting points. Close.
Simple, and it works like a charm every time.
More talking to come. 30 minutes to write a five minute talk using the 1–3–1 structure.
Craig again assigned the talk titles. Mine was “How to run a business with no rules”
Fantastic.
Think, scribble, think, scribble. Overthinking.
Stop, go back to basics. This is my true comfort zone: writing.
I drafted, I re-read my notes. Antony spoke about people overcoming incredible adversity. Rana about the importance of sleep. Then it was my turn.
I was far less nervous. Third time in no man’s land. Piece of cake now.
But I didn’t actually know my close. I had a solid opening, a decent body, but no close.
Then again, I’d just waxed lyrical about ice cream. If I can improvise about that, I can improvise about a topic I actually have a valid opinion about.
My opening was fine. I started off by asking questions; get the audience curious.
When was the last time you were told what to do? How to act? How to dress? How to live your life?
We have an innate desire to follow others and build a safety net of blame in case everything fails.
I stated my headline: If you want to run a successful business, I believe you must live a life without rules.
I pulled stories from the non-rule-following careers of Steve Jobs, John F Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr.
Live with freedom. Live without rules. Only then will you find success.
It was longer than that of course, but there’s no need for overkill here. It was a no ramble, not-too-much-nonsense, five minute talk.
I sat back down for the third and final time.
3:30pm. Time to wrap it up.
This day at Rise wasn’t just a public speaking course. It wasn’t just a way to learn the inner workings of a TED talk. No, the day served a more meaningful, longer-lasting purpose.
I almost didn’t leave the flat to catch the 9am bus. My mind produced doubts over whether I could be bothered, whether it was worth my time, whether I was up to the task.
Turns out the answer was always yes.
I showed up, embraced the challenge and got comfortable alongside the feeling of unease.
Next time, when I stand on a stage and talk to a group of people, I’ll remember the time I was the world’s most in-demand wedding photographer, and the time I improvised about a frozen treat, and the time I encouraged people to live a life without rules.
My comfort zone is in tatters, and I couldn’t be happier.
Thanks for reading Chapter 120!
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