Letter to my younger self

by Zion

Dear Zion,

This will be a year for the books. You’re just coming out of your junior year, which was a wild time, but now you’re going into senior year. Last year you won homecoming and prom prince so this year you need to continue to get involved as much as you can and really expand your horizons to find yourself.

My senior year kicks off just right. The black hole (high school student section) is yours again for the second time in a row. You’re on student improvement council again this year, VP of your class, dance captain in show choir, you have a lot on your plate and it’ll only get busier.

As time passes by, things continue to feel right. But as we all know, those feelings don’t last long. It’s September 19th on a Sunday and you are going to receive a call that would break your heart like it’s never been broken before. A call that would change your view on completely everything the second after it ended. A call that brought regret and sadness, confusion and so much more. The call that your best friend, Cody Montgomery has died.

Cody is 4 years older than me but I’ve known him since I was a little kid in elementary school. He has always been sort of close to me and my family but actually started hanging out once I got to high school. Lucky enough, since he was a senior and I was a freshman at the time in, he was my show choir buddy for that year. We spent plenty of time together doing the craziest but most fun things.

Getting that call will just make your heart sink. You shortly will be calling up everyone that was in our friend group to see if they had heard the news but be prepared because no one will pick up the phone. You have to scramble to find your keys as you’re trying to even cope with this all together. By the time you get driving, mom will call, brother will call and also your dad. You need to answer those, I didn’t and it almost made me crash. Finally seeing everyone will calm your nerves for the moment but only will make things worse because you have to come to the realization that he is really dead.

His funeral comes and you and your friends are the pallbearers. This will be the most difficult thing you’ll have to deal with. You are usually the one to cheer people up but this thing is really getting to you. How could someone so young and so close to me die so soon? Earlier in the year, your brother’s best friend just died and now only a few months later, you’re dealing with the same exact thing. Some advice, just really, really be calm. You will have your time to cope but you need to be there for your friends. That’s what Cody would have wanted. He made an impact on you enough to really influence others. So, you must go out and be that leader in your friend group, even as the youngest one.

Overtime in your senior year, don’t let your world get dark. At the funeral, the pastor says “it’s okay not to be okay”, let that motto guide you. Be strong in whatever you do and live life to the absolute fullest. Lots of times you will come to a crossroads with stress and you’ll ask yourself, is all of this really worth it? My senior year, should you just give up and be average? But you must stop and think to yourself, what would Cody do? It will be the toughest thing you’ll ever go through, losing him and then having to live with that pain for forever. But I’m telling you, it gets easier. Have faith, and believe that Cody’s death should be a celebration of life, and not to get caught up too much in the sadness of it. He would have wanted you to be the best you can be and it took me a while to realize that even at my age, but even I haven’t finally reached that point of overcoming this obstacle yet. Take a deep breath, and in everything you do, do it for Cody.

Yours Truly,

Zion