Final Project Blog Post
- What does your gender mean to you?
This semester in Sex and Gender, I have learned so much about myself and about other people and concepts than any other college class I have taken in my three years at Elon. I remember one day in class, we were asked to reflect on what our gender is and why we identify that way? When did I know that I was a girl or a woman? This was one of the hardest questions I was ever asked. I sat there and was dumbfounded at my lack of ability to explain why I identified the way I did. I think a lot of people feel this way because gender is not something that is talked about or interrogated especially. If you express your gender the way you have been assigned at birth, there is no conversation or questioning of that.
In our reading by Judith Butler, it explained the theory that gender is socially constructed. This was a dense reading that was extremely hard to put together all of the details, but our in class activity helped us with that. She explained that gender is a performance. One performs their gender rather than gender being something that is instilled in you. This was something that was hard for me to grasp. Not being able to explain the reason for the way I express my gender was something that really made me think about why am I am the way I am.
My group did our discussion group the Threshold Concepts in Gender Studies Chapter 2 “The Social Construction of Gender”. This chapter discussed the “Genderbread model” and explained the difference between sex assigned at birth, gender expression, gender identity etc. These were all terms that I had been familiar with before taking this class, but after reading this chapter and creating an activity for the entire class to do, I realized that I hadn’t actually fully grasped the big picture. I began to understand of how complex our gender is. There are so many different layers to who we are, and our gender in general. To answer the question of how are we living in a constant process of our identity, how are we evolving — I think the more knowledge we have about ourselves and the more we educate ourselves on the topic, the more we look at ourselves and really try to understand who we are. I know that I have never truly thought about my gender and why I am the way I am before this class. I remember one of my classmates responded to a discussion question and said something along the lines of everyone has a gender/ gender identity/ gender expression and they should all be thinking about it even if it aligns with the way you were assigned at birth.
Another reading during the semester that really stood out to me was the article in the New York Times called “What Trans Men See That Women Don’t”. This article brought up so many different things about gender stereotypes and gender expression in relation to transgender people that I had never even considered before. Black Trans Men were experiencing being runaway from on the streets at night, Trans Male nurses were experiencing not being allowed to be alone with female patients etc. I think this really brought to my attention how complex some people genders are.
But now that I understand others’ genders and the complexities a little bit better, what is my gender and what does it mean to who I am? I still struggle with this question, and I think I will continue to for a long time, maybe forever. Although I do struggle with this question, I know that I am a woman. I like to express my gender as a woman as well. But why is this? I truly don’t know. What does it mean to my identity? I think it is one of the most important things about me. I love being a woman. I love expressing myself that way. I love being a part of feminism and educating people on what it means to me. Judith Butler explains that gender is a constant process, and before this class I would have thought that was silly. I would have thought: I have always thought and expressed myself as a woman and that has never and will never change. Now I understand what she means. As I am continuing to widen my knowledge and learn more about myself and the concept of gender, I am learning so much about my own gender. I don’t know why I am the way I am, but if I am thinking about it and pushing myself to do so, I am learning and the process of my own gender is continuing.
