Embracing Growth: The Power of Self-Awareness in Welcoming and Utilizing Feedback
In the journey of personal and professional development, self-awareness stands as a cornerstone. It acts as the compass that guides us toward a deeper understanding of ourselves, fostering an environment where feedback is not only accepted but embraced as a catalyst for growth.
Throughout my life, I have consistently regarded myself as highly introspective, adept at analyzing both situations and my own self. This has allowed me to understand (and sometimes unfortunately judge) myself, what I was doing, the relationships I was creating or the work I was delivering. With the right mix of humbleness and analytical mind, I always felt it was just a piece of cake!
It was only at the age of 29 that everything changed. At the time, I was living in London and I had decided to take a portrait class, pumped by the compliments I received from my old schoolmate in middle school and inspired by my ex-colleague and incredible motion designer Kevin Burke who I worked with for the creation of the Google Doodles.
I participated in one of the intensive courses at the Royal Academy of Arts. After spending an entire weekend with a brush in hand, the outcome was quite different from what I had envisioned. That wasn’t the only aspect of it. As I walked around the room, I noticed masterpieces created by others. On the subway ride home, I reflected on the professor’s words: “Everyone has a talent; you may have just dived into painting the model, focusing on the details too quickly, etc.” I was upset that the professor seems to have sugared the feedback by saying that everyone has a talent. And how could she have said to me that I started from the details, when I took a semester course on designing fashion figurines where the figure indeed has so much importance compared to the details? I knew I was not gifted with my classmate Talia’s creativity but what could I learn from her?
The reality is, I had very little awareness of what it truly means to paint, to be a proficient painter whose artwork can generate interest or sales. I had a distorted perception of my abilities and a skewed understanding of the path I needed to follow to grow as a “painter”.
That episode really helped me change my perception of self-awareness and it opened my mind and my heart to a more open acceptance of feedback. Today, after many years from that weekend, I decided to share with you my takeaways in the form of short pills.
What’s Self-Awareness?
Psychologists Shelley Duval and Robert Wicklund proposed this definition: “Self-awareness is the ability to focus on yourself and how your actions, thoughts, or emotions do or don’t align with your internal standards. If you’re highly self-aware, you can objectively evaluate yourself, manage your emotions, align your behavior with your values, and understand correctly how others perceive you.” It’s not a static state but more of a continuous process of self-discovery and according to a research from the Harvard Business Review — despite being one of the buzzwords of the last few years — only 10–15% of people possess it.
The Importance of the Feedback Loop:
Let’s delve into the interconnected relationship between self-awareness and feedback. Help yourself (and people around you) understand that having self-awareness enables individuals to approach feedback with an open mind. It’s not merely criticism but an opportunity for mapping areas of improvement, emphasizing personal growth rather than judgment. The tricky part here is to avoid the rabbit hole of “WHYs” (“why is nobody listening to me?”) and start focusing on the “what” (“what can I do to make conversation more effective?”).
Cultivating a Growth Mindset:
People who possess self-awareness tend to view challenges as chances to learn and develop. It took me years to reach an acceptable point. During the majority of my youth, I oscillated between the satisfaction derived from the consistent success of adhering to familiar routines and the simultaneous apprehension and anticipation associated with the prospect of change. Exploring the pivotal role of self-awareness is fostering a growth mindset and change for the better. This mindset makes them more open to constructive feedback, recognizing it as a means to enhance their skills, capabilities and their inner potential.
Overcoming Defensiveness:
Honestly, this is an ongoing journey for me too, and let me assure you, helping and guiding others through it is no easy task either. Tackling the common issue of defensiveness when faced with feedback and explaining how self-awareness plays a crucial role in separating one’s identity from their actions require energy and maturity. This separation diminishes the inclination to take feedback as a personal attack.
Acknowledging Strengths and Weaknesses:
A well-balanced self-perception becomes the groundwork for constructive feedback to be seen as a tool for improvement rather than a threat. Back to my experience at the portrait class: I was not truly aware of my real capabilities, that I was good at drawing and not so good at painting! I took for granted that I was god at both.
Building Healthy Relationships:
When people have a good understanding of their own emotions and what might trigger certain reactions in them, it becomes easier for them to have conversations about feedback without damaging their relationships. This self-awareness allows for more empathy and better communication during discussions. This positive approach contributes to creating healthier and more constructive interactions. And this principle holds true whether we’re talking about personal relationships or professional situations.
In conclusion, emphasize that the journey towards self-awareness is not a destination but a continuous evolution. By fostering self-awareness, you not only enrich your own lives but contribute to a culture where feedback is seen as a valuable tool for personal and collective improvement.
