10 Tips for Building Communication Skills
“Communication” is all over the town these days. You’ve probably read magazine articles about communication skills or heard self-help gurus discuss the value of communication skills in the workplace.
We are constantly reminded of the importance of communication. With good reason — it is a huge deal when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling personal and professional life.
But simply hearing about it isn’t enough to absorb all of that information and apply it to your own unique situation. This is especially true for those who may feel they are lacking in effective communication skills. After all, not everyone is born with a natural talent.
If you’re wondering what everyone is talking about or how to improve your own communication skills, you’ve come to the right place.
The key to developing both business and personal communication skills is how you approach your interactions. It’s even possible to call it a strategy.
Here are some helpful tips for improving your communication skills.
1. Make an effort to be an “active listener”:
Active listening entails being involved and engaged in what the other person is saying, as opposed to being passive and allowing the conversation to pass you by. Some of the ideas that you can follow to become an active listener are:
a) Pay attention when others are speaking.
b) Ask open-ended questions to get a sense of what they want.
c) Ask probing questions if there are specific things you’d like to learn about.
d) Request clarification on anything you’re unsure about.
e) Paraphrase what they said and repeat it back to them.
f) Be aware of your surroundings.
g) Summarize at the end of your interaction so everyone has the same takeaways.
2. Speak up about your ideas and thoughts
It’s important to understand what others are looking for, but it’s also important to express your own needs. Nobody will ever find out unless you tell them, right?
This communication skill is especially important if you are a leader because what you say sets the tone for the rest of your team to follow. If you are an open and honest communicator, you are setting a good example for others to follow.
3. Avoid making assumptions:
It’s all too easy to assume you know what someone else wants. However, this is a major source of misunderstandings — and one of the reasons why misunderstandings can lead to conflict.
This is where the active listening model can come in handy. Empathy, attempting to understand what is going on in the mind of the other person is part of having great communication skills.
This is significant because what we say is not always an accurate representation of what we truly desire. It is common for us to try to disguise or hide our true needs, especially in a complicated situation or one where we are easily overwhelmed or embarrassed.
When you ask questions, listen carefully to the answers, and repeat back what you believe they want, you help to reduce misunderstandings and the risk of conflict.
It’s similar to the famous George Bernard Shaw quote: “The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it has occurred.”
4. Practice self-awareness, particularly during difficult conversations
People with advanced communication skills understand their own emotions. They know how to keep them in check when they’re upset or overly excited, and they don’t let them dominate the conversation or create unnecessary drama.
When you’re reacting to something you don’t like, it’s critical to keep your cool. Take a break if your heart begins to thump or your face becomes hot. Make an effort to find some alone time where you can relax.
Another key part of self-awareness is being able to admit when you’re wrong. It might feel like a huge blow to your ego, but trust me — you’ll likely find that by admitting your mistakes and trying your best to prevent them moving forward, you’ll build respect and integrity in the eyes of your loved ones and colleagues.
5. Keep it brief and to the point:
Have you ever sat through a coworker’s lengthy and winding story when you have a lot of work to complete? It’s difficult. To avoid being that person, try to get to the main points as quickly as possible.
6. Don’t be afraid of a little silence now and then:
Silence may appear to be unbearable, but it isn’t always a bad thing. Don’t start blabbering just to get rid of the silence. (It’s difficult, but resist the urge.) When you understand when it is appropriate to be quiet, your partner and colleagues will appreciate it.
7. If you need to change the subject, look for a “bridge”:
It takes skill to change the subject tactfully. Look for a “bridge” to connect where the conversation is now and where you want it to go. Use connecting phrases such as “The important thing is…”, “I agree with you, but…”, or “Here’s what I do know…”
8. Get rid of the “um” and “uh”:
This may seem obvious, but the average person uses far more fillers than they realize. Try recording yourself during a presentation and listening back to see how frequently you say them. Then, as you proceed, be aware of the fillers and speak more slowly so that you have time to think ahead.
9. Prepare and practice what you will say:
Of course, there are a lot of impromptu conversations in which you don’t have time to plan and practice. However, if you have the opportunity, spend even 30 seconds going over your key points. This can improve your communication skills significantly.
10. Build Communication Goals:
Strong communication skills develop and evolve in tandem with your personal and professional relationships.
Begin with self-awareness — be aware of how you’re communicating right now and how it aligns with your communication goals. Then, shift your focus to others, making sure you’re on the same page and reading the right cues.
