Teaching My Children About the Ability to Respond
Taking Ownership Means Taking Back Your Power
In my ongoing commitment to self-awareness, I am always considering new ways to enhance my life and the lives of my children. I am passionate about innovating the relationship you have with yourself, you have with others, and how that enhances our world.
Recently, my focus has been the crucial role responsibility plays in personal growth, expansion and empowerment.
I found that taking ownership for all aspects of my life, without blame of or projection onto others, is the key to my ongoing evolution and success. I began to reevaluate how I was creating my own personal experience, as well as how this would benefit my family and the world around me.
Responsibility is simply the ability to respond.
Questions that I considered and continue to ask myself: Although it may appear this challenge was caused by someone else, how can I see it from a higher vantage point, take ownership and action to resolve this situation? Although my husband and I are often coming from what appears to be very different points of view in regards to (fill in the blank, finances, raising children, etc), how can I take responsibility for finding the common ground within our belief systems and the power in our contrasting interpretations? How can I implement strategies within our household which support each member in taking on responsibility for themselves and their contribution to the household? What can I teach my children that will help them in their lives now and assist them in becoming emotionally mature adults?
I am currently in the process of helping my children understand the benefits of self-reliance and accountability for their needs, as well as uniting as a team for the well-being of our household and lives.
To this end, I put together a proposal outlining each family member’s responsibility to themselves and contribution to the household. We had a family meeting, discussed the new strategy, and tweaked the plan based on feedback that they gave me.
I then wrote each of them a letter describing why I believe that the quality of responsibility and the dynamic of teamwork is so important.
This is the letter I wrote to my son.
My Dear Will,
I know that you have heard me speak about responsibility quite a bit lately. And, you may be wondering why this is such a huge focus for me, and how it matters and applies to your life.
I have learned that responsibility is simply, the ability to respond.
When you choose to blame others or fall into a “victimhood” mindset in reaction to circumstances in your life, instead of taking responsibility, you give away all of your power.
Alternatively, when you choose to take ownership for all areas of your life, you give yourself the freedom to respond to anything and everything that occurs within the scope of your world. You become empowered, powerful and free to choose.
As you have observed, I have lived my life from both sides of this coin. And, I am certain that I was meant to experience disempowerment, so that I could see the difference between these choices, and understand the strength of being accountable.
I have discovered that responsibility, for myself and my experience, is paramount in creating the life that I want. This perspective allows me to see past any differences we have and choose the love that unites us. We are a team, and when we live from that point of view, everyone wins.
So, contrary to the famous Spider-Man quote, I would say,
With great responsibility, comes great power.We have spoken about the power of love, gratitude, compassion, and integrity. You are well on your way in understanding that your worth is beyond definition. And, you have really embraced the truth that your opinion of yourself is truly the only one that matters. You have even come to understand that everything you experience is just a chance for you to learn more about yourself and grow from it.
So, learning the power of responsibility is my next bit of wisdom to share.
I understand that participating in household chores and taking ongoing and increasing ownership of your life, is not on your “top ten list of to-do’s”. I get that. But, you are just going to have to trust me on this. As time goes on, you will find your responsibilities evolve from drudgery to empowerment.
I know that you will easily master your “ability to respond” and go on to change the world in your own unique way.
I love you always, Mom
I have personally experienced painful lessons as an adult about responsibility and emotional maturity, that I wish I would have learned earlier in life, when the consequences were not as dire.
But, I also know that it was meant to be this way so I could truly understand how crucial it is to provide my children with this wisdom.
This is the nature of evolution and transformation.
It has become an imperative for me to provide my children with tools which will help them become emotionally mature adults. And, responsibility is the foundation of this endeavor.
And, just as I am teaching my family, I believe that it would benefit all of humanity at this time, if we would revisit the power behind taking ownership without blame or judgement.
I believe that we should unite as a family and team to forge the road ahead. I feel that we have a responsibility to ourselves, our children, and future generations to let go of our perceived differences and embrace the qualities that bind us together.
Polarization weakens us and our collective goals. Separation diminishes our capacity to see the glorious truth of who and what we are.
We are freedom and courage. We are innovation and truth. We are forgiveness, compassion, love and kindness. This is who we are.
We owe it to ourselves to see our myriad of perspectives as an asset. Diversity or being different is powerful. We must unite, not despite our differences, but because of them.
I know this is the bedrock of all that needs fixing. When we each take full responsibility for where we find ourselves and come together as a team in the name of love, we will effortlessly change anything that is no longer working, innovate and build new systems to replace the old, and thrive.
I see it as my job to offer this truth to my children, so that they will be an integral part of the extraordinary future we have ahead of us.
Our fate lies in the hands of each of us.
Take responsibility. Become empowered. Find the common ground and revel in the diversity. Unite and be the change.
This post was originally published on my website, Angels Evolution.