Image : Lunch money, Pusha T.
Soundtrack : 4r da Squaw, Isaiah Rashad
This article is the summary of two key conversations, that forced me to face reality.
The First Conversation.
Anonymous : You’re broke and impatient.
CL-Q : –
It’s one thing to know it, another to be told it. In that situation, you have very limited choices in responses when someone calls you broke and impatient. You either allow free reign of your reflexes or you respond, there is a difference.
an action that is performed without conscious as a response to a stimulus.
say something in reply.
Now, reminding myself that I’m having a conversation with a man who has most definitely experienced having £1 million and his name in close proximity. The wise move is to exercise a lesson in humility and play the fool.
“Money talks, broke people listen.” — Danny Brown
Fact. I wasn’t happy with the way it was delivered, but where there is knowledge to be acquired pride has to take a back seat. The reality is yes I’m broke, but so is 90% of the UK. Impatient? That’s questionable. I have expectations, I don’t make assumptions. Therefore every move I make must be made for a reason, no matter how irrational, it has to be strategic. Premeditated acts save resources in times of impoverishment, better yet in times of investing. Similarly to a farmer, decisions are made on calculable risks, planting the right seeds at the right time of year to harvest on schedule. Arguably an improbable reality when dealing with uncontrolled environments. So instead of planting one type of seed you plant a variety.
It’s important to state, that my life isn’t centred around the reality that I can’t do anything else but creative work, I just hate the alternative to such a degree, that I’m only investing in what I’m interested in. After all, we are dealing with time, and that’s never refundable.
At this point upfront cash investments are impossible, so I invest my skills (just as with every job interview, be aware of what you have to offer) in developing businesses or strategies for a specific type of return. Be that equity in their business, political allegiance, contacts or favours.
My current investments are; DANCCCE (a social network), NuDawn LDN (a creative space in hackney) , Black Cultural Archives (Black British Heritage institution), Archive of Unmaterialised History (A future archive) The Adversary (Critical simulator) and Emerging Journal (A chronicle of a creative entrepreneur). The above all serve a specific purpose in my eventual emergence as a creative, designed to become profitable at different stages.
However, within this dialogue, I continued to question my patience. Could I wait ten years to become an authority in my field? Even if it was guaranteed to the date and time?
Patient : Rome wasn’t built in a day
Impatient : It could have been, it was the mortar that made it stand the tests of time.
Decision : Do you want to be solidified at the apex of your field or just pass through?
I can picture it, sitting in fertile soil, nurturing seedlings in hope with no guarantee as the planting season comes to an end…[To be continued]
The Second Conversation.
With the building momentum of Donald Trump’s shocking but unsurprising victory as the 45th President of the USA. I am plagued with the recurring questions “is this really worth it?”, “who am I doing this for?” and “why am I putting myself through this?”
Undoubtedly, pressure from every angle is building. As my resilience to being overwhelmed slowly waivers, I ask myself how do I want to want to succeed? Am I trying to sneak over the gate of success or am I trying to break through the gate and take as many people with me as possible?
Pursuing the latter, terms such as ‘conscious capitalism’ and ‘giving back’ spring to mind. In my recent interview with Shades of Noir Content Developer, Charisse Chikwiri, we got sidetracked and begin exploring our sense of inherited and self-defined responsibility as African diaspora and to whom. Within my inner circle, we’ve adopted the term ‘The Black Tax’ with an obligation upon any progressive step made, but the truth is we all live according to a ‘Reality Cheque’. There’s only so many things we can balance before it affects what we produce or at worst ending the journey before it even starts.
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