2021 first quarter reflections
In HKUST days, I used to write weekly reflection logs. In retrospection, I was surprised by the prolific writer inside me those days. I blogged about la vie quotidienne — mundane thoughts that refreshed after they were digested and put on paper. During those hectic days in HKUST, writing was a form of release– clearing the mind of clutter and emotional turbulence while setting agendas for the next week. After entering the work domain, I wrote less of these personal reflections, and I could come up with multiple “excuses” — changing priorities, less flexibility in schedule, and simply “not that much” stuff to form an entry. Some of them were valid, as with changing life stages, the forms of “reflection” transform too. I cherish hikes in Violet hill and walks along the Victoria harbor promenade that offers tranquility and respite — and it is during these serene moments that I am blessed with sparks of creativity and maturity of perspective. Writing still blesses as a mirror of retrospective growth — and I hope “quarterly” reflections continue its momentum.
It has been a few weeks since I caught up with J***, and talking to her takes me back in time with the curious explorer I met in 2010. I’m blessed with having conversations about “life”, not light topics in weekend pursuits/ work-days/ “what’s up recently” kind. (yes we need those too!), but deeper and heavier ponders on professional ventures, life paths, interpersonal relationships, cherished reads, and life changes along the way. Observing her changes from junior high — University — workplace, as well as maturity in professional and personal domains, time and old friends are best teachers in multiple perspectives. It occurred to me how friends and acquaintances shape our worldview. For instance, in discussing further studies after Uni — Taiwanese pals in certain work domains thought it irrelevant to corporate ventures in HK; Mainland pals thought of it as essential when transitioning geographies (back to China for example); while people of different generations/cultures/upbringing environment thought differently. Divergent conclusions can be reached when discussing similar topics with different individuals, thus the friends we keep in contact with largely shape how we look at the world.
The first quarter of 2021 has been a great stage for building foundations of stability. Settling down in a new environment, building work routines, familiarizing with the community, exploring favorite nature getaways … and after which comes greater flexibility in personal pursuits. In academics, I was happy to continue my French journey as well as studying the CFA exams. “Why French?” are questions people ask and sometimes I ponder. Fascination of the culture itself — language, paysage (landscapes), diversity, arts, literature, cuisine and simply “the way of life” explains it, partially. Sometimes, in midst of pursuits… you might not know “What” the end goal is or even “why” you have such interest. For instance — my swimming journey that started at 4 was not something I questioned during rigorous training sessions. Yet after these years, I realized that the self-discipline, perseverance, subtle confidence in solidarity, the conversations with swimming enthusiasts, and the sense of freedom and tranquility in the water is something that I never would have thought about… as a child in formation. When preparing for the Delf B1 exam and CFA2 &3 exams…I found that I am no multi-tasker, yet exams do bring a sense of formality and discipline that triggers potential and momentum. Despite the rigorous and tedious preparations… I found that “academic pursuits” are looked at very differently after we enter the workplace. When we know the “whys” for goals and understand the essential commitments, we realize that it is a conscious choice. Studying didn’t feel so much like the student days — when exams are viewed as formidable mountains with pressure and competition. After stepping into the workplace…goals, needed training, and time commitment are all upon self-discovery and planning… thus for me academics become a part of “personal pursuits” built on step by step.
In work, I felt more comfortable in the interpersonal communications that were vastly different from what we have in University. Undergoing the second rotation in the credit sales team, I learned immensely on the credit technicals, institutional investors, the macro landscape, and most importantly interpersonal communication when observing market veterans. In March, I was surprised by unprecedented departures from the office, yet also learned that this is “la vie quotidienne” in the industry this time of the year. The departure of ** — whom I learned immensely from, also stimulated thoughts in changes and planning in the career path. When talking to J*** on complications faced in US visas, “I was lucky in being granted the work visa in my first year lottery (typically 20%-30% of applicants). Yet this serves as a stability card for me — this is not stopping me from pursuing good opportunities elsewhere when they come up, or when it is time to go.” — a bold statement, yet as fresh grads entering the workplace, it is important to keep our eyes open in self-development. There’s always going to be noise our there — friends moving to another city, departures of high caliber colleagues whom you worked closely with, retirement of mentors/ teachers you’ve always sought counsel in. What doesn’t change is change — and it is up to our own to steer clear of values in midst of the diverse and chaotic world out there.
“I’m an extrovert, yet large gatherings and socializing like those university days is something that I stepped away from. Yet, I realized the importance of me-time and catching up with those I’m truly comfortable and close with, after entering the workplace.” Said J***. Work takes away mental energy and time flexibility, and in remaining moments of leisure we seek people and places that we are comfortable in. Unconsciously, the people we reach out to and drift together with are those closest to heart, and I found myself gradually leaning towards my “comfort zone” of closest university pals or the Taiwanese group. I guess its natural — no good or bad. We are the average of our five closest pals, as discussion topics, common interests, worldview, and life values mix and merge.
“I’m not an emotional person, and sometimes it takes me quite a while to realize that I was in an uncomfortable situation.”, said E****. “For me, it might be multiple occurrences of the similar experiences that strike feelings home — for instance moments where I cannot be comfortably myself; situations where I am stressed; or conversations that I do not want to be in.”, I chimed in. It is true, as introverts, we tend to be polite, find it harder to “decline”, or voice thoughts out loud. Yet, with the consciousness and understanding that we ourselves are the captain of our journey in midst of turbulent tides — we ourselves … more than anyone can change course of where the ship sails. I recalled an invitation which I was uncomfortable in — yet felt “obliged” to attend out of courtesy and “relationship maintenance”. Suggesting alternative activities, asking more attendees (close pals), or politely turning down certain invitations are mindful actions that we could take. I remind myself that being polite does not equalize being passive or uncomfortable — if we are more conscious in our decisions, we could be happier with the wealth of cross-roads opening up before us.
With working from home arrangement for nearly a month, I picked up a few old and new hobbies with added time flexibility. Baking (pita breads and whole wheat breads with variations haha), visiting the cinemas, going to the Sun Yat San pool, writing book reviews, swinging by Deep Water Bay beach… creative pursuits are stimulated when we are blessed with time flexibility. Walking out of old rituals, we try out novel experiences, and can often be inspired by unprecedented and pleasant surprises.
As we age, people often get more conservative and stick to the proven, safe, and comfortable paths –habits and world views instilled might make people more rigid. I guess that is part of human nature, as with experience and know-how, we often fall into old rituals and shut the blinds of worldly nouveau experiences out there. Last weekend, feeling stuck at home after a day of CFA revisions (gorgeous weather and sea view just by the windows), I knew I needed a break and fresh air. Jumping onto the double decker bus in Admiralty, a 20-minute ride took me to the southern part of HK island, with stretching beaches, serene white sailboats, and the fresh sea breeze. The liberating air, the warm breeze, and the open seascape brightened up and tensed down my day — we long for connections with nature and draw inspirations from the seemingly eternal, stretching sea. Such creative pursuits — a change in the mundane routine in midst of seemingly tedious endeavors refresh and recharge — as cherished moments that we could always draw inspiration and take respite from.
