Back to Taiwan — 2022合歡北峰
1.5 years. This was one of the longest interludes that I’ve been away from Taiwan. Thankfully, during the CNY break of 2022, I returned home with a warm and grateful heart. The trip arrangements were made long in advance, with flexible and meticulous planning required — quarantine arrangements in both HK and Taiwan, unprecedented flight schedule changes, adherence to workplace policies, discussions with family etc. Despite the rigorous medical checks across borders and discomforting “idea” of quarantine, family time and the window to re-orient ourselves was invaluable — as every trip invigorates with the changes in atmosphere, identity, and exchanges of ideas.
With remote working restrictions due to licensing requirements, I was unable to work in Taiwan from the quarantine period, but this also granted a window to unwind and reflect on the journey in the past 1.5 years. Starting as a university graduate rotating across different asset classes in sales and trading for the first year, to applying for a permanent role, towards being entrusted with daily responsibility… mindset shifts, lifestyle transitions, and equilibriums established have subtly taken place. Yet, with the hectic schedules throughout the year, I seldom sit back and reflect on “where” the journey leads, “whether” reorientation is needed, but mostly “how” to improve our current state. “Essential distractions” in Hong Kong were plenty: workplace socializing, weekend outings, creative pursuits, and explorations of the dynamic city. Distancing away from these diversions and solitary time with the self was invigorating — fresh ideas were stimulated, tranquil reflections surfaced, and longer-term aspirations bloomed.
Despite being confined in a hotel room for the initial 7 days, the special status of having chucks of freely deployable solitary time in Taiwan — where the pace slowed down and “ambiance imagined” became more homely and hospitable, the brain relaxes, thoughts soften, and creative plans took flight. I planned those days with a simple and structured regime, consisting of French studies, reading, writing, researching longer-term aspirations, watching “Dix-pour-cent” (good Netflix recommendation thanks to A****), and doing some essential workouts. All of them were a wonderful luxury, in retrospection. ***REDACTED*** Some of the continuous pursuits were built into habits today, when the quarantine lifestyle semi-continued as I flew back to Hong Kong, with the city largely in lock-down. Indoor workouts before a screen were a horrendous thought to me pre-covid; as I preferred the fresh air and liberating landscapes outdoors — hiking, jogging, swimming, walks are treasured pastimes. Yet, we easily adapt to what our environments offer; and I learned to love the accessibility and abundance of workouts available online — essential to our mental and physical wellbeing during confinement.
Back at home sweet home, everything was familiar. One reason that I chose this time frame to visit home was not only because of CNY, but because it overlaps with bro’s semester break and his 20th birthday. Despite our 6-hour time difference (I wake up at 6am while he wakes up at 12pm; ditto for sleeping hours), the ambiance of four of us under the same roof — the presence and warmth of togetherness is a luxury. The drumming of the guitars, the singing, the boisterous chats with his gaming pals, his infrequent visits of popping inside my room to wander around; were comforting trivial details savored back home. Conversations with Mom and Dad didn’t seem much different from 1.5 years ago with the familiarity of home — mealtime conversations, nighttime walks, household rituals; yet beneath the naturalness of interactions were perceptible changes. My presence had a visitor status — Mom’s fastidious cleaning of my room, the holiday-spirit style meals spanning my 2-week stay, and the long-time catchup conversations — some which weren’t naturally shared with phone calls and without physical presence. With bro into University for 1.5 years, Mom and Dad established their own weekend rituals too — the weekend hikes in 溪頭; occupying much of the day and leaving the rest of the weekend for good rest. I haven’t had the chance to ask them whether they sensed I’ve changed — values, aspirations, perspective, maturity…; but I’d say the most honest feedback that I’ll get would be from bro. 「別寫了啦…這個字歪掉了」… the only picky and true feedback amidst the sea of appreciation, when I share calligraphy as a blessing to friends and family haha.
“If you love someone, the greatest gift is presence.” One of the most heartwarming moments back home was celebrating bro’s 20th birthday in a cozy home ambiance, savoring a chocolate cake (his favorite) together. Growing up alongside bro, distinctions between our characteristic emerged after adolescence…there were natural orientations that set us apart, such as hobbies, personalities, and friendship circles; but there were also aspects that I never comprehended back in high school and University…as an obedient and less creative first child. We pursued for different things academically, professionally, and creatively…but I realized that the core family values pulls us back, such as family orientation, ethics, views towards materialism etc. With the passing of time, the maturity, divergent experiences, and different worldviews also staged better conversations onto the table, on future aspirations, vulnerabilities, exchange of ideas, and inner struggles.
Embarking on a hike in合歡北峰was one of the highlights back home. The trip might seem easy to plan, but taking into the different orientations amongst us … one had late sleep schedules, one couldn’t take in strenuous and stretching expeditions, one had to drive for long hours, one had concerns on altitude adaptations… So with conversations and compromise, we decided on a 2-day trip with an overnight stay at 松雪樓; one of the highest altitude wooden lodges in Taiwan at 3150 meters. After all, the essence of the family trip was togetherness. Having bro on a trip dilutes the adulthood seriousness; and in the back of my mind I had conflicting wishes about the pace of his maturity. ***REDACTED***
We drove for around 2.5 hours from Taichung, passing by 清境農場in Nantou, and crossing the city border and arrived at Hualien. ***REDACTED*** Mom, Dad, and I took an afternoon walk at合歡東峰 before the sunset, but the rapidly dropping temperature (from 3 degrees to below zero) and icy breeze sent us back to the lodge quickly. At night near bedtime, I felt physically exhausted but mentally alert, as signals of altitude sickness which sends your heart pumping faster (to access oxygen) and some develop slight headaches. Bro’s 3am sleeping schedule did not help, he was playing rap music, watching videos, chatting with me nonchalantly simultaneously, and compromised to turn off the lights earlier that night. Who knew, that such a setting was conducive to good conversations — lights off, no distractions, calm ambiance, yet awake with thoughts crystal clear. Conversations flowed — it had been some time since we opened up on past journeys, present uncertainties, and future aspirations.
Different from a role that parents play — who we dutifully report our current expeditions and discuss future aspirations; siblings offer different points of view with your mutual experiences from growing up, but at the same time are exposed to different friendship circles, academic/professional training, and societal exposures. With a similar age, ideas can be sometimes more homogenous, practical, critical, and hopeful — with the passion, grit, and possibilities that young souls envision. The best part is our divergent personality that was complementary– bro was direct, socially adept, capricious, and strong-willed; while I was reserved, observant, consistent, and less sentimental. But both of us were good listeners, and we were frank when it comes to each other–my stupid questions in the engineering/tech field, lame ponders on interpersonal circumstances, his ignorance to investment complexities, and oblivion to importance of certain University endeavors.
As G***** shared one of Thích Nhất Hạnh’s sayings, “Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.” Deep trust, mindful presence, and empathy are essential elements to share our vulnerability, unconventionality, uncertainties, and future aspirations. In the past, some of his decisions and attitudes were incomprehensible to me…his very late sleep schedules, stubbornness and passion towards music endeavors, indoor attachment despite being athletic and active, moody silences despite being socially adept before his sea of peers etc. ***REDACTED*** The seemingly folly actions and unrealistic “castles in the air” had their reasons behind, and I believe as experience and maturity creeps in inevitably with time, he will make good decisions — when being better informed and having a clearer direction.
Embracing not knowing helped — “acknowledging that you can’t be in someone else’s shoes if we have preconceptions about its contours” was important. Back in University, I had preconceptions of what a “good student” looked like, and frowned upon deviations; but in fact I never stepped into bro’s shoes on the different circumstances and aspirations that he had. As we step back and acknowledge not knowing, we are able to listen and stay open — providing space for conversation and empathy. As HBR article notes, “Empathy implies that you comprehend not just the place the person is coming from but their problem. It’s a discipline of basic respect, both personal and civic. You can’t get bored or turn away, you embrace commitment.”
It was also very strengthening to envision future blueprints together. Some blueprints were never proposed out loud, but with bro I felt secure enough. He simply listened, acknowledged, integrated some facts and figures that I said earlier, and calmly said ***REDACTED*** It felt steadying and warm, that there was someone else supporting longer term aspirations together, as we work steadily and slowly towards longer term goals. I also saw the practicality and maturity that took place over these 1.5 years of university, and offered guidance and examples that I knew from friendships and experience. However faraway it may seem like at the moment, I guess this provides an incentive, a glimpse to future possibilities and present directions.
We were blessed with beautiful weather for our hike in 合歡北峰, with sunshine shaded by fluffy clouds only occasionally. The 4K trip took around 4 hours, while a further expedition towards 合歡西峰would take around 10–12 hours in total, which we passed due to time constraints. As a beginner level 百岳, it is suitable for a (half) day hike for different ages and stamina levels, as one could finish the expedition in their own pace, step by step.
It was a beautiful climb, with a steeper ascent in the initial 1.3 kilometers up meandering rocks, and the final 0.7 kilometers of the hike along the windy mountain ridges, overlooking a carpet of green plains stretching along the horizon. The scenery resembled 奇萊南華peaks’ golden plains, with similar altitude (3400–3500 meters) and plantations. Hiking with family is similar to doing solitary hikes I guess — there was less socializing chatter, more time to be mindful of the path ahead, observe our natural surroundings, and walk in our own tune, knowing that they will always turn around at an opportune time. I like to trudge in the end of the pack, slowly savoring the beautiful mountain scenery enveloping us, and watching Mom, Dad, and bro in the distance.
The farther they go, the smaller their figures fade into the distance, but the human dots that connect with each other forms one of the most beautiful snapshots in the trip. Knowing that they are ahead, safe, and happily trudging in their own tune — invigorated by the mountain’s magic that inspires each of us in different ways, simmers a simple joy of warmth and enlightenment. A beautiful trip brewing unbounded energy that I will take with me, along with the rest of the endeavors of the year.
