The moment of Lift (Melinda Gates) Book Review
Within the genre of women empowerment, “Becoming” by Michelle Obama, “Lean in” by Sheryl Sandberg, and “The moment of Lift” by Melinda Gates are books commonly quoted. “Becoming” is a story that spans from Michelle’s childhood journey to white house ventures, “Lean in” captures Sheryl’s endeavors between workplace and family, while “The moment of life” emphasizes on the women empowerment and Melinda’s philanthropy ventures. Melinda touches upon her career and family responsibilities lightly and sheds the spotlight on stories on her encounters with women in developing countries. I realized the women empowerment can take on many forms and transcend between different life stages.
Uplift from giving
In Melinda’s ventures in developing communities of India and Africa, challenges faced by women take on diverse forms — child marriage, malnutrition, miscarriage, poverty, among others. Melinda highlights that an outsider can be regarded as a cultural intruder, trying to change cultural practices that has been passed on for decades. “The way which you introduce science might be as important as the science itself.” says Melinda, highlighting the significance of mutual respect, compassion, and listening to understand. “Women empowerment shouldn’t be limited to certain topics.”
Ranging from nutrition, family planning, education, to agricultural skills transfer, Melinda doesn’t preach the mighty “ideals” of female equality but rather takes action addressing the fundamental needs of women. She takes action to push for change on a local level. “When we regard ourselves as more superior than others, it would be impossible to truly give with the basis of treating people as equals.” Her field work, conversations with women, discussion within the Melinda and Gates foundation proved her beliefs — that achieving the moment of lift for girls calls for “being in the field, understanding, and listening to the needs of women out there.”
Transition between life stages
“When your material wealth surpasses your needs, what is the next step? How do you create a deeper connection with people, along with the human race?” asks Melinda. “When”, “How”, “With what means”, and “to who” are the ponders that I’ve had when pondering about the act of philanthropy. Reading the journey of Melinda, it occurred to me that such a life mission on women empowerment wasn’t obvious to her in day one, but rather after connected her life experience. From her teenage wounds, workplace observations, to exposures in developing nations, she gradually decided to take action and advocate her ideals when she felt prepared, step by step.
As students, young working professionals, or parents with young children — the main focus of life might be elsewhere. Yet, paying attention to issues we care about and learning from role models helps connect our life stories and calling. For me, I’ve always felt strongly on issues on women empowerment — from equality, education, and development, yet struggled on practicalities in carrying it forward. Content creation as an intern for The Women’s Foundation gave me a glimpse of the actions taken from NGOs, yet it differed from direct contact due to its virtual nature. After reading the book, I realized that we take our ideals with us in our life ventures, step by step. We could shift and allocate focus in different life stages, and devote our energy and flexibility as life ventures allows us.
Perfectionism debunked
One of the unprecedented topics encountered in the book is “perfectionism”. Melinda shares her “over-prepartion instincts” in fields that she has previously been unfamiliar with, aiming to hide her fear of being “not enough.” The range of such an ideal differs, yet it has co-existed with “hard-working” ethics that I have lived with in many ventures. The motivation behind perfectionism varies, but one is “the aim for perfect performance on the exterior in avoidance of humiliation and failure.”, and thus “over-preparation” occurs. Over-preparation to the boundaries of stretching our capabilities has always been a life lesson that I will continuously learn from. I guess experience will continue to teach — as we adjust, learn, and mature.
What is true equality in the family?
Division of labor, child-care, and career opportunities are the commonly preached gender equality rights for women in the job field. Yet, I realized that many of such impactful changes of women empowerment can start from family. Small behavioral changes can make a difference in our daily lives. Melinda talks about the division of labor between husband and wife, mentioning that “If we were to divide our jobs by allocating duties to who does it better (in issues that both care about), it would be like cutting the other off.”
I realized that childcare and education might be the most important aspect — often allocated in majority of the “less busy” parent. When both parents devote time into education decisions, discussions and conflict arises inevitably. Yet, it is by such differences in ideals, concessions in prior knowledge, back-and-forth discussions that mutual understanding develops and arises. For instance, when discussing university pathways for D****, all of the family participated in discussions from time to time. There were heated discussions, debates in pros/cons on schooling environment and arena, and a lot of joint coordinations within the family. It felt tense sometimes, yet warm in retrospection as it was a decision supported and well-discussed between the family. I realized that “real equality” is on being compassionate, respectful, open, reciprocal, and coordinated — growing together led by one another.
