PAM #1: Just another girl in Snobs

Poem A Month: September

Emma Knight
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

The first of 12 poems I will (all going well) be sharing over the next 12 months. This one is about the different labels and phrases people place upon you and how they can affect the way you see yourself, and the ideals you have of your own identity. (Snobs is a nightclub in Birmingham)


You’re pretty
Pretty short
Pretty clever according to a piece of paper
You’re an English and History degree
From a red brick university
You’re white and middle class
Seemingly unaware of your privilege
Did I mention it was red brick?

You’re a number on a scale you need to get under
You’re a size 10 but not a perfect 10
Been called a 7, a strong 7.
Can I get your number? No
You’re being hit on by a guy who will never get the hint
You’re forced to be standoffish
You feel sick when he says your thighs are thick.

You’re loud and hysterical
You’re too loud actually
Accordingly
You’re the rumours that were spread in changing rooms
You’re frigid because a week in to your year 8 relationship you still haven’t kissed the kid who gave you a lollipop
But it was Valentine’s so you said yes
You said stop.

You’re the miserable look on your face when it’s resting
Bitch
You’re a postcode to be judged on
You’re not worth an explanation
Unable to bite your tongue
You’re easily lost amongst the crowds
Just another girl in snobs.

But I’m not
I’m not these things
These printed labels whether inked or stitched by the back of my neck
or small of my back
The thoughtless phrases that keep me up at night and bite.

I’m the face that reads like a special large print letter
Dear Misery,
I’m Wuthering Heights every Christmas
I’m hot buttered toast and the biggest mug of tea
That’s still not long enough to get through Wilde reading.
The squint in my eyes when overthinking.

I’m ink stains on my little finger
With a bookshelf for a heart
I’m the heartbreaking tender weight of being human.
Of being woman
Who I am
I’m a body that aches
Yearning for a full life
The desire one day to be someone’s wife.

I’m the surprise snort that escapes when I laugh
That makes you laugh
The sense of injustice that stirs up in me a wrath
I’m an intake of breath
When you enter the room
I’m a whole part of two
A bond made in the womb.

I’m the silence I feel I should fill
And a wish turned into a will
I’m trying to understand my privileged place
Thankfully drowning in His grace.

I’m the earring that I lost on the sticky snobs floor
A chink in your glass you’ll catch your lip on
I’m all of this
All of this and so much more.

EmmaRoseWrites

Living Loved- Embracing Grace- Keeping the Faith.

Emma Knight

Written by

Living Loved- Embracing Grace- Keeping the Faith.

EmmaRoseWrites

Living Loved- Embracing Grace- Keeping the Faith.

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