One way to deal with challenges
Summary: Difficult situations are easier to overcome when they are seen as a learning opportunity, we see others with empathy and problems are rephrased as questions.
What can I learn?
One way I look at problems is to consider them training in the natural world. In every difficult situation there’s something to learn. If I decide to accept something as training, then I start thinking about the benefits it would bring me long term.
How is the other person hurting?
To start with, if I’m having a difficult relation with a work colleague, I first think about the problems they might have. I know people do weird things when they are hurting or are under pressure. And I know that just like me, they have also seen pain and suffering. And they want to be happy, just like me.
How might I …? — a problem is a question
Then I start to look at the problem and ask myself what could be causing it. I write down a few ideas. Break it down to smaller pieces. And then rephrase things as questions in the form of “How might I …?”
For example, let’s say discussions a colleague are annoying because there are a lot of misunderstandings and things escalate quickly. Then I ask myself “How might I make things more clear next time?”. Or how could I avoid confusions?
And then I keep focusing on solving the problem and the benefits it will bring.
