Determines what we want.
Growing up, and even as adults, we experience a lot of unpleasant things and situations. Whether it’s a nagging parent, a bad city, a bad teacher, an annoying customer, a terrible boss, you name it… we’ve developed a list of things we don’t want or situations we can’t stand.
And so our list of wants is made by the don’t-wants. Not this, nor that. But we don’t usually spend much time picturing what the opposite of don’t-wants would be ideal for us.
To get more of what we want, we would be better off with defining the things we do want. What kind of values do we have? What makes a good customer? What is a good boss? What defines a good job? What kind of city do I like?
When you experience things that you don’t want — a job, a lover, a friend — take some time to write down what you can learn from this and clarify what you want in a positive spin.
If you’re not spending at least a bit of your time defining what you do want, you might be getting more of what you don’t want.