Shame on me for saying yes to everything
For not respecting myself enough to say NO.
Who said that things are better when you say nothing?
Who said silence is better than an argument?
At least when emotions are let out into the universe
They make their mark and evaporate.
We take the life lesson and move on.
Every time I try to leave, the past keeps pulling me back.
I’m like a ghost roaming the earth because of unfinished business.
If I die before time, there are certain things I’d wish I did.
Such as allowing my creative side to shine.
And telling you the truth when I had the chance.
Some nights you make me so angry; I want to lie far away from you.
Some days I ignore your calls even when I miss you.
How could one person be capable of such self-sabotage?
An inner earthquake of this magnitude.
The music I listen to has changed with time.
My taste buds have matured and so has my style.
In my twenty's I find myself cursing the world for being oppressive.
I hate myself even more for allowing myself to be a victim.
To societal norms and traditions.
The laws that make women feel small.
That make a dark skinned girl feel inferior and less beautiful.
And the rest of the population singled out.
Personally, my outlook doesn’t bother me.
It’s my inner look which makes me sad.
My longing for feeble things such as love and affection.
Shame on me for thinking that my professional happiness matters more than my personal one.
For praising every good career move and
Shoving the personal ones to the side.
It all catches up with you.
That I wish I knew.
The lies I told the world and myself.
The bottled up anger I avoided in the name of PEACE.
When your feeling happy and sad at the same time.
When you’re crying, yet laughing on the same breath.
When you’re celebrating and mourning a great loss.
When one part of you is fulfilled, yet the other empty.
You know you’ve neglected your personal duties when the only trust you have is for your mind.
Not your heart,
Not even your gut.
The brain can feel emotions too.
Hence the confusion and confliction.
Tell me about emotions. Can it feel loneliness too?