A few weeks of everyone at home: Navigation tips for parents
Making a global crisis into an opportunity for learning and service
Just because we are “sheltering in place” for a few weeks doesn’t have to mean unrestricted screen time for children. It also doesn’t have to mean a working parent’s nightmare, creating anxiety for parents and children. If this opportunity is seized with both hands as that which offers connection, correction and communication, then we would have built life skills. What can we do with our children?
If you are working in the front lines (hospitals, grocery stores, restaurants, or any other essential services), surely there’s a bigger challenge as you are fighting a war. Hopefully, you have the support system you need to continue your noble purpose. For the rest of the parents who have the ability to work from home, the following tips hopefully help you and your children navigate the uncertain times ahead.
Conversation with your supervisor
Many CEOs and companies are cognizant that this situation is not unique to just a few people. Hence they are willing and encouraging parents in their workforce to manage both children who are staying home and their work. The only thing that’s needed is some thought and a good plan that’s communicated with your supervisor ahead of time. It’s important to be upfront with your supervisor to avoid any misunderstandings.
Partner with your significant other
Instead of taking the pressures all on yourself, have a conversation with your partner, and chalk out a plan of action. Make sure that you both work around your individual deliverables, and meetings to have a division of work. It’s a team game and it should be played from that perspective. The plan of action should include meal preparation, chores, and activities to engage the children.
Consider all the areas of child development
There are a few areas of child development that you would need to focus on, especially since the children too are hunkering down along with the adults.
Physical Development
Most children need to be and will be active. Like the school schedule, this new and changed home plan should also incorporate time for children to be active. Weather in some parts of the world might not be conducive for outdoor games or parks might not be safe to go to, at this time. Plans should accommodate for those considerations. Yoga, walking around the home, tumble play, dancing to music of choice are all viable indoor alternatives. Outdoors, weather permitting, will open the doors for more options. You need physical activity too and might want to consider engaging in some activities with the children.
Intellectual Development
While we shouldn’t turn the home into a school, during the next few weeks, we should also attempt to slow the educational regression as much as possible. Schools might offer resources to help. In addition, several educational companies have stepped up providing free resources.
Here is a small subset of free resources:
- English: Learning A-Z
- Math: Khan Academy, Zearn (K — 5)
- Science: Scholastic
- Libraries: Online 24/7
Here are some paid resources:
- Art: Outschool, ArtForKidsHub
- Activities / Subscription Boxes: KiwiCo, GreenKids
- Book boxes: KidArtLit, many other
Emotional Development
It would be incorrect to think that the children are not emotionally affected by this situation. Certainly seeing us anxious, the children have been feeding off of it. Similarly, their peers at schools have been spooking them. The “shelter in place” order has shaken them. It’s a huge change to their lives — no school, can’t see friends, no or very few playmates, no extracurricular activities, and possibly lousy weathers. It’s a very traumatic situation for them and we are the only ones they have, for solace. They need our understanding, our presence, and our love more than ever. There are also some opportunities for emotional intelligence education.
How to help?
- Identify and label emotions
- Validate the feelings
- Help limit behavior
Like Dr. John Gottman says, “All emotions are welcome but not all behaviors are.”
Social Development
What this situation brought is a loss of social interactions for children. Children need to interact with other children and other caring adults. A beautiful opportunity for us to be creative, innovative and helpful. We can use technology to organize virtual ‘playdates’ and get the children engaged with others.
Values Development
There’re so many inspiring stories at this moment of crisis. Exposing the children to see beyond the crisis into the humanitarian acts, and helping them learn that no act of kindness is too small, and that we can and should do everything we can to help humanity.
Screen Time
When we are in meetings, or in important conversations, our kids have the knack of getting our approval for some “extra” screen time. Now, with extended hours of hunkering down at home, they might avail themselves to a bit more than usual. To avoid unpleasant situations, and to have respectful conversations, have some rules around screen time. Many devices, OS, and external devices have the ability to do parental control. Learn and use those to enforce the rules of screens. For example, there is a device called Circle by Disney, that allows you to enforce controls on all members of the household.
Vacation Mode?
Allow for flexibility for sure. However if the children go into complete vacation mode, a few weeks later, when and if schools open, or if remote learning is enabled, the children will have a harder time coming back to normalcy.
Repair Relationships
With families sheltering in place in many areas, the chances of friction is very high. What that means is that relationships would need more repair. As we approach our relationships with a conscientious awareness, we will be able to quickly recognize the need for repair and perform the necessary actions.
As we increase our efforts to fight the virus in a collective global effort, let us also attempt to use the opportunity in hand, to have quality time with our families, and to help our children to grow beyond the crisis!
