Three gifts for your children
Practical gifts for happy relationship with children
Parents give the children many gifts. Some are expensive, other are low cost. Some of the gifts are priceless, and others are handmade. Gifts are even intangible, or invisible. Of these many gifts we give the children, there are three gifts of great importance. In this article, we will talk briefly about all three gifts.
Your time
Any child, even those teens who deny it, hopes to have some time with their parents. What is the definition of quality time? It is not the time when we shuttle our children to school, classes or other places. It’s not the time where we are helping our children do their homework. It’s certainly not the time when we are critical of our kids. Then what constitutes quality time? Any time that is fun and enjoyable for our children and us becomes quality time.
When we take a small amount of time daily or weekly, from our busy schedules, and share that with our children, we fill their emotional bank accounts. A kid who has fun with the parents also learns to trust the parents more. That trust strengthens the emotional connection between the two. A strong emotional connection helps them talk to the parents about everything. That connection also helps transform the relationship into a beautiful friendship when the child grows into an adult.
Time is a very expensive gift, especially for parents who work multiple jobs, are single parents, or have other constraints. But when the children of such parents see their parents still make time for them, their parents’ time becomes the best gift they get in their entire life. Children cherish happy moments of their childhood. Drs. Gottman have done extensive research on the topic of small things often. Surely, small droplets make a mighty ocean.
College fund
Not all parents are able to afford to make ends meet. Sometimes even basic necessities are a struggle. For those parents who might have some surplus, an important gift that will help the future of the children is their college fund. By contributing a percentage of the savings to a college fund, we can help children offset any potential loans they might be needing. While this fund offsets or even eradicates the college debt in full, starting early has two other benefits.
- The funds start to gather some interest. This makes the unit of currency stretch a bit further than if you were to write a check at the college time.
- The funds act as a motivator for kids to study further. If the children have to take a huge loan, then they might decide against furthering their horizons.
Note that many companies are removing requirements of college education. However the funds are still useful for doing non-degree and career development certificate courses.
Your retirement fund
The last and still very important gift to children is our own retirement fund. When parents don’t plan ahead for their retirement, they often tend to grow an expectation that the children will take care of them. Many children might be able to financially support their parents. But let’s recall the days when we started working. Did we have a lot of plush to meet our basic necessities and more?
Expectations lead to a lot of pressure on us and on our children too. This pressure not just increases the stress in all but it also strains the relationship. When anything is forced, it snaps! While the intention was not to push the child, it does happen and sometimes, the child is forced to make difficult choices. A retirement fund not just eases this strain but also boosts our confidence by lowering the risk of our future.
Conclusion
Giving these gifts to our children not only eases the pressure and strain on all, but they also help strengthen the relationship, creating a path to a beautiful friendship when the child becomes an adult.
