My Wife Mentioned the T-word, and it Made Me Emotional.

Taking ownership of my new role

Throughout the years, my mental health made a dent in our marriage. It is challenging to be married to a person whose cognitive abilities fluctuate with different medications (or the lack of them!). It’s strenuous to keep track of the ups and downs. She had to be patient during the valleys and welcome me back when I returned to “normal” again.

It is tough on a marriage.

It’s been four and a half years since entering full-time disability. I’m not the breadwinner any longer, and, in a sense, I have given up on the hope of reentering the workforce. Well, more than giving up, I have had to embrace my disability and accept who I am.

And who am I? I am a stay-at-home dad.

I’m slowly but surely assuming my new reality. I do the laundry, vacuum regularly, do the dishes, religiously clean the kitchen, pick up the groceries, help prepare the meals and take a very active role in our daughters’ upbringing.

It may not look like much, but it is a big deal for me. I take pride in it. It is my home, too. I’m not “helping” my wife; I’m taking co-ownership. There is a big difference.

Then, yesterday, as I was finishing the dishes, my wife hugged me from behind and mentioned the T-word. “Honey, I appreciate so much what you do — it makes me feel like we are a Team.”