Are we willing to change?

Three possible responses to new or different perspectives

Empathy by its very nature presents us with new ideas, perspectives, and emotional responses. But we get to decide what we do with all the new material.

At a minimum, we can respond three ways when encountering different perspectives and experiences.

• Ignore/reject: This might be overt such as “I don’t believe you’re telling the truth” or “Your [perspective/experience/feeling] doesn’t matter.” Other times it might be more subtle and subconscious — “I don’t have time to process this information right now.”
• Challenge: This response assumes that if the other person just had more facts/information, s/he would act/feel/talk differently. “Yeah, but….” or “Research shows that…”
• Change: This occurs when we allow the new information to expand and modify our own thinking and perspective. “I used to think ____, but now I realize ____.” Occasionally, even our beliefs change as we empathize more. “I didn’t know ____, but now I believe ____.”

The question, then, is — are we willing to change? To change our minds about something, to change how we see the world, to change what we believe

Change is scary and uncertain, but it’s at the core of courageous empathy.