Calling out our ghosts
What haunts us as we empathize
Published in
1 min readOct 11, 2017
Our own narratives haunt us as we seek to understand someone else’s perspective. These stories we tell ourselves (about what we believe, about the other person, about why we’re right, etc.) aren’t always obvious, but they’re always present. They’re like ghosts.
Our ‘ghosts’ might sound like:
- An assumption about someone else based on my background
- A deep fear of being wrong or ‘losing’ (even if only perceived)
- Genuinely not realizing that I’m missing key context for certain facts
- A belief that because I’m a [Southerner, Republican, Democrat, feminist, Marine, — fill in the blank — ], I must oppose this (or this kind of person)
It’s critical that we call out these ghosts and recognize how they’re influencing our conversation with others.
We all tell ourselves stories. The question is, are we willing to be honest about them?
What do your ghosts sound like?
