Sitting on the same side of the table

I’m keen to be more consistent in writing about empathy, so I’m starting a series called “Empathy Entries” — short 100–200-word posts about a specific aspect or story of empathy.

Although I’m not a fan of Heineken, I appreciated one particular aspect of their recent (and controversial) #openyourworld ad. (Regardless of your take on the ad, I hope you’ll hear me out!)

The participants found commonalities before discussing their opposing beliefs. They (metaphorically) sat on the same side of the table.

That’s empathy.

It means listening instead of proving our “rightness.” It’s exploring a topic together with sincere curiosity, avoiding “us vs. them” rhetoric that immediately triggers defensive language.

Empathy isn’t about abdicating our beliefs or reducing the conversation to who’s “right” and who’s “wrong.” It’s a mental transition from focusing on my perspective exclusively to stepping into someone else’s shoes to see life from their perspective.

Sitting on the same side of the table might be as simple as recognizing that both of us are human and want to be loved and accepted (even if it’s not admitted verbally).

Each of us is more than any one single belief or perspective. Sitting on the same side of the table acknowledges that without condescension or presumption.