Putting on your own oxygen mask first — before helping others

If you’ve ever flown, you’ve likely heard this advice in the safety presentation.

“Put on your own oxygen mask first - before helping others.”

Obviously, we’re not much good to anyone else if we can’t breathe. The same is true of kindness — if we can’t show ourselves kindness, we won’t be able to extend kindness to others.

Often the hardest time to show ourselves grace and kindness is when we need it most. When we feel like a failure. When we’re exhausted. When we’ve done our best but it still doesn’t seem like enough.

We must put on our own oxygen mask first.

This might mean acknowledging we’re doing the best we can given the circumstances and/or taking time to recharge. Perhaps we need to admit that we’re not okay. Or maybe we need to remember that we don’t have to get the dance right the first time.

This might seem selfish, but the truth is, taking this empathetic posture towards ourselves empowers us to have greater empathy for others.

“Being kind to others begins with being kind to ourselves.” Kelsey Crowe and Emily McDowell, There Is No Good Card for This