Last Day Before the Apocalypse Ruined by Phone Call from Mom
The world is ending. We’ve known this for a while now. Some families are spending their last days before the apocalypse holding one another close, while some are working to avoid each other and enjoy their last days in solitude.
While the rest of the world collects supplies for their impending doom, irritated area woman Jennifer Womack is trapped on a never-ending phone call with her mother. Three hours into the conversation, Womack has finally given up on defending her life choices.
“If you had gotten married to Jason when he asked you, you would have a man there to keep you safe.”
“Uh huh”
“I’m just saying, you need to be supported and I know that God will provide. Once he provides you need to provide me with a grandchild.”
“Uh huh”
“Have you been using the Jane Fonda video I sent to you? You need to work up some muscle if you won’t have any help.”
“Uh huh”
“Who is going to lift a fallen car off of your leg? Dad told me he can come down if need be, but then who will I have?”
“Uh huh”
“I guess I could ask our neighbor to help me. Is that ridiculous? I mean it could be fine, he is very strapping.”
“Uh huh”
“Oh, I couldn’t. Why would he want to help ME? Of all people.”
“Uh huh”
“Fine, I’ll ask. It couldn’t hurt, could it? When this all goes down it’s every man for himself and if your dad isn’t here… when in Rome!”
“Uh huh”
“Is that how that saying is used? I heard them say it on Sex and the City. I think Samantha said it. Jeesh I love Samantha. I think I’m more of a Miranda but I WISH I was a Samantha!”
“Uh huh”
Womack had plans to head to In-N-Out before their final closing, but their conversation has no end in sight. At least until the alarms sound and anarchy ensues.
