’Tis I, Goody Proctor, and I’d Like You All to Know That the Devil and I Are Just Really Good Friends
I don’t know what you think our relationship is, Abigail Williams, but Satan and I simply enjoy spending time together and there’s nothing more to it than that.
You know, it’s not like your entire social life needs to revolve around a romantic partner. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a casual friend who can accompany you to a brunch or a blood sacrifice or whatever. Someone who’s occasionally up for a craft night: maybe a little poppet-making, maybe once in a while some spellcasting. It’s not like your only choices here are an evening alone or “Netflix and incubus”.
For example, these days Lucifer’s been taking me to a lot of book signings. Sure, it’s his book and other people are signing it and sometimes there are inexplicable thunderstorms and green flames shooting from the pages, but at heart it’s just a cozy little get-together. A quiet night out with friends, you know? Nothing big.
Look, I know things haven’t been great with me and John lately, but I’m really not looking for anything else at the moment. At least, for Mephistopheles and myself, I’m not going to put anything in writing yet (LOL). I’m perfectly happy with where we are right now. It seems like such a rare thing these days, having a platonic friendship with someone who’s always up for a little wine-and-cheese night or some dancing wildly around a bonfire while reveling in the undying screams of the damned, and I’d just like to savor the experience.
So I’ll thank you all to keep your opinions about our relationship to yourselves, please, and let the two of us just enjoy each others’ company. If I need any whiny commentary on how “this isn’t proper” or “think of poor John” or “your casual friendship will lead to an unholy alliance that will plunge us all into eternal flames and torment”, I know where I can find it. I know where Judge Hathorne lives, thanks.
As does John, should he find himself in need of some moral guidance.
At least when Satan signs a contract for a lifetime commitment, he keeps his end of the bargain.
