My First True Hiking Adventure: Yosemite (Part One)
Have I ventured too far in my quest to find peace?
Getting there
Dodging traffic on a hot afternoon, I arrive at Yosemite. I keep checking my phone a thousand times before finally giving in to the fact that I have entered no cellphone coverage zone. I have more than a couple of hours to check in and am looking for ways to kill time.
What’s the best way to get rid of the fear of the unknown? Know everything, obviously. I have seen countless pictures and videos of Yosemite by this time and am aware of what to expect. Though all of my internet sleuthing could have never prepared me for the vastness of this place. I put on the GyPSy app and let Mr. Dave Pettitt guide me through the park. Time flies as I enjoy the stories and the views. It’s finally time to check in.
Having gotten the keys to my tent cabin, I drag my suitcase on the semi dirt road. If I can’t lug this suitcase to my tent, how am I going to ‘hike’? Well, that’s a problem for tomorrow. Right now, I need to figure out how to get dinner and fill up water.
I change into comfortable clothes for the evening, grab my empty water bottle and a credit card, and head towards the café. I realize I have some cell reception here which means only one thing; I need to call my parents. Although they have never had the need to reach me in the middle of the night (time difference as they are in India), knowing that I may not be reachable is making them anxious. After a quick call reassuring them that I am alive and thriving, I finish my dinner.
Alone with my thoughts
Back in the tent, I unpack and lay out my clothes for tomorrow. It’s getting darker outside. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I am disconnected from the world. I sit on the bed realizing I have nothing to do. I don’t have emails, IMs, notifications to check on. I don’t even have wi-fi or cellphone reception to watch anything on my phone. I only have my Kindle with me.
I am, suddenly, taken back to my childhood days when the only thing I thought about was finishing the book in my hands. It’s just me and my thoughts. And funnily enough, my thoughts are not intrusive today. I have somehow managed to silence my inner voice about self doubt and anxiety. I hear people talking outside my tent and usually, I would go mingle with them. Not today. Today I am enjoying my own company and the much needed freedom from my intrusive thoughts.
Today I am me.
I lay on the bed reading some book and fall asleep.
Day 1
I wake up with a strange energy in me. Strange, because I realize that the alarm hasn’t even gone off yet and I am ready to take on the day sans coffee. This never happens. I follow my friend’s advice to eat breakfast before I start the hike and grab a packed lunch to eat along the way. With my stomach full and maps downloaded, I start on my first serious hike.
Huffing and puffing, I trudge along the valley loop. I remember my friend’s advice: Take your own time and enjoy the experience. Stopping along the way multiple times for photos and selfies, I finally finish the 10 mile trail in about seven hours. When I finally reach my tent again, I find that my legs are immobile. I have never even walked 10 miles before, forget hiking for 10 miles. There is a sense of accomplishment but a problem awaits me. My sweaty body has collected a lot of, what I’d like to believe, dirt, along the way and I desperately need a bath. Reluctantly, I go the public bathroom and let the hot water run over me. I also make a smart decision about grabbing dinner before heading back out to my tent. I crash onto my bed and am out for the day.
Day 2
I have no energy this morning and I end up snoozing the alarm for half an hour. I NEED coffee today and some hot breakfast. No hikes for me today. I decide to drive around listening to some more stories by Mr. Dave Pettitt. I come across a secluded spot near a stream of water and decide to lay on the beach reading a book.
I could get used to this life, I think. No job pressure, no societal pressure and more importantly, no sense of urgency. This day is non-eventful and goes by swiftly.
Day 3
The next day, I am well rested and follow my routine of eating breakfast at the café and grabbing packed lunch for my hike. I am taking on the mist trail today. I have heard this trail being described as climbing a 100 floors with spectacular views of the Vernal and Nevada waterfalls. I am nervous. I am scared of heights, scared of falling down the stairs and am definitely a beginner at hiking. This is all of my nightmares rolled into one experience.
Though not as easy as it was described to me, I reached the bottom of the Vernal falls in an okay condition. I haven’t come across any stairs yet so my confidence is boosted. That’s when I realize I haven’t actually started on the mist trail yet and the fun is just beginning. The first set of stairs, though horribly tiresome, are not scary. But little did I know that, that was just the start. The stairs are getting narrower and higher. Some of the areas don’t even have a side railing. On top of being out of breath because of all the climbing, I am panicking thinking about all the different ways in which I am going to fall down. I find that hugging the boulders nearby is helping relieve my anxiety. And then I reach the part of the trail which breaks me.
There is water everywhere on the trail and the stairs are slippery. There are a lot of people going by me and it’s only increasing my anxiety. I decide to ask a fellow hiker about what lies ahead. He assures me that it gets better and the trail ends in less than a mile. So instead of just trusting him, who might I add, had done this trail previously, I do the stupidest thing I could have done in that moment.
I decide to look back on the trail. The only thing worse than climbing up the stairs is climbing down the stairs. Scared and completely taken over by anxiety, I am paralyzed on that step. I need some solid ground to stand on and fast which means I have two options left.
I can go up a mile to the summit to catch a break. I hear the road back down is not that steep and does not have any stairs but I can’t access that trail without reaching the summit. Or I could go back down about four miles to my tent.
I need to prove to myself that I can finish what I have taken on. Being scared is part of the journey but does it justify quitting?
What do I do?
