Not Getting Any Younger

A poem for us older trans women

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This one is for all the girls
Who had to fight
For their womanhood

You daring sirens
Larynxes raised
To sing contralto praises
And resonant phrases
In lips, nose, tongue
Bass strings unstrung
Respecifying endocrine doctrine one more time
Yes I'm crying!

Tears that never felt so good before
Welling up from reservoirs
You magnificent star maidens
Selfie taking
Pickle craving
Spiro-graphical mavens
And broad winged raven ladies
Passing (not passing, never passing, refusing to pass) in the night skies
Born in disguise

Fourteen and forty all at once
Awkward angles, aching breasts
All tucked away beneath my dress
My sisters and I refuse to give in to the distress
How long did we repress this truth
Waiting for proof
No one else could provide

Razors glide
through forests of stubborn stubble
Clear-cut with laser rays
Long anxious days
Awaiting judgment from the guardians of the gates
To change our names
Weeping in a courthouse parking lot
Over priceless pages

Initial stages now behind us
In-laws slipping still remind us
That the role that used to bind us
Lingers lurking in their minds, but
We are stronger than their hindsight
Waking up at crack of daylight
Thirty squats to get my butt tight
Gotta get our faces just right

Doctor's office wait times dragging
Out the process
Tell me that my numbers are not standing
Between celebrated operations
I've been patient
Needles rationed
Decades waiting
we're not getting
any younger.

Read more here:

Part 1: Trans Girl Magic

Part 2: How to talk about “Tess”

Part 3: What’s in a (dead) Name?

Part 4: Rail (poem and post)

Part 5: A lifetime of coming out

Part 6: A conspiracy theory (poem)

Part 7: On Authenticity and Artifice (poem)

Part 8: Not Getting Any Younger (poem)

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Theresa Jean Tanenbaum

Written by

Digital storyteller, feminist witch, reality blender, pervasive theater artist, steampunk, identity scholar, ADHD, poly & queer, trans woman, she/her

Empowered Trans Woman

Highlighting the experience of women of trans experience. Transition, Womanhood, Feminism, Intersectionality, Transphobia, Marginalization and Assimilation, and more.

Theresa Jean Tanenbaum

Written by

Digital storyteller, feminist witch, reality blender, pervasive theater artist, steampunk, identity scholar, ADHD, poly & queer, trans woman, she/her

Empowered Trans Woman

Highlighting the experience of women of trans experience. Transition, Womanhood, Feminism, Intersectionality, Transphobia, Marginalization and Assimilation, and more.

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