Emily As She Talks Shit About Cary Grant

Emily says he’s a staircase

she wouldn’t sweat to climb.

I have seen To Catch a Thief

two hundred times

& though I’d live a million lives

to be him in the fireworks scene

with Grace Kelly one time, I have

to admit I wouldn’t mind being

hung off a roof in the middle

of a jewel heist that Cary Grant

was attempting to thwart.

Really, amidst that landscape,

with those rich people milling

about, I’d rather be the housekeeper

that kills Nazis, that makes quiche,

that is loyal to a man I know

will leave me that villa

when he dies beneath the blonde.