‘It Worked for Beer!’ — If Soup Commercials Looked Like Beer Commercials

INT. NIGHTCLUB — NIGHT

In a dreary club, bored PATRONS sit staring at an empty dance floor. The doors burst open and a FLASHY GUY comes in, ready to party. All eyes on him, he marches over to the bartender and extends an arm onto the bar. The bartender slides a martini glass full of viscous chicken noodle soup toward the guy.

SMASH CUT:

The party is in full swing. Patrons laugh and dance on the packed dance floor, holding up their martini glasses full of sloshing soup. Noodles fly through the air as the music pumps and the guests get sprayed with oily broth.

FLASHY GUY (to camera, dancing): Nothing heats up a party like soup!

*

INT. LIMO/CITY STREET — NIGHT

A group of shy college students on their way to a formal dance sit glumly in the back of a stretch limo. The door opens, and LIFE OF THE PARTY GUY enters with a cooler. He lifts the cooler’s lid. Inside, it’s full of steaming crocks of French Onion soup oozing gooey cheese.

SMASH CUT:

The college kids are partying in the back of the limo with their crocks of soup. The stringy cheese is stretched all over, like silly string, in their hair, on their clothes. The limo hits a bump and soup sloshes onto their formal wear. They all laugh and smile.

LIFE OF THE PARTY GUY (to camera): Soup. It gets the night crockin’.

*

EXT. YACHT — DAY

A DJ spins on a crowded boat as bikini-clad women and oily-chested men dance, ladling soup into each other’s mouths. As the wave spray hits and the boat rocks, the soup sloshes everywhere, down their chins, in their hair. A BEEFY GUY nods to a friend.

BEEFY GUY: Hey, soup me!

His friend tosses him a can of soup. Beefy Guy pops the ring top and chugs an entire can of cold, congealed New England clam chowder in front of a throng of female admirers.

The girls drape themselves around him appreciatively as he burps, wipes his mouth, and tosses the empty can into the ocean.

Bikini girl (winking, to camera): Nothing makes the ladies spoon like soup!

The women take Beefy Guy by the arm and lead him away. As he turns, we see his back tattoo: an ornate bowl with the words: “Soup — It’s hotter than you think!” written in rising steam.

A corporate voiceover begins as we fade out.

CORPORATE VOICEOVER: Brought to you by the Soup Council of America, which reminds you to always ladle responsibly.

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Alyson Mosquera Dutemple

Alyson Mosquera Dutemple

Writer, Worrywart, Warren Wilson MFA. Reader for CRAFT Literary. Twitter @swellspoken. www.alysondutemple.com

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