En Route to Saenthood:
#2 Past Failures
This series is about what I’m learning, observing and experiencing while building my startup Saent (pronounce “Saint”). The good, the bad and especially the ugly, each time in under 500 words.
“What would you do if you were absolutely certain you couldn’t fail?”*
A coach would undoubtedly call this a “powerful question”. A realistic person nonsense, as there is no such thing as being 100% certain of success.
That powerful question came later though. It was another inquiry which caught me off guard in May of 2014.
We were five guys, away from our busy jobs, outside of the city for a night. Drinking beers and whiskey (I was still drinking at the time), at a small townhouse under the stars.
We were chatting about everything and nothing, until someone dropped the question: “Where do you want to be, five to ten years from now?”.
Everyone had a crystal clear response, except me. No clue at all, which got me thinking in the weeks that followed.
As by some divine miracle, this all happened two months before I would get fired. And so it was, that I had already started to work on that powerful question, to figure out what I truly wanted to do:
“What would you do if you were absolutely certain you couldn’t fail?”
- I’d build a great company.
- I’d create something which impacts and inspires a large group of people.
- I’d want to get the money and experience to help others.
- I’d write a book.
I quickly realised what I wanted and what I was doing were not adding up.
Why?
My dreams and ambitions had not changed at all. I’d just been moving in the opposite direction, because I needed to recover from past failures.
Both psychological and financial, I had poured everything (literally) into an entrepreneurial adventure I just couldn’t get to work.
But if I’m sure I can’t fail?
The answer to this didn’t come overnight, but appeared over the course of giving up on alcohol, being introduced to Stoicism, losing my job and taking a semi-sabbatical (in that order).
I realised 85% of what was holding me back were past demons. Not so much the fear to fail again, but overcoming the story I had told myself for about a year:
- I don’t have the right personality to run a company.
- I should have succeeded before my 30th, now I should just look for a normal job.
- It’s time to give up on crazy ambitious dreams.
- And so on.
The more I thought about it, the more my clarity of thought increased. And the more my secret business idea started taking shape, the more I knew it: what I’ve been telling myself the past 12 months is all wrong. I know exactly what I want. Even though I know it’s crazy, it’s what I have to do.
Past failure is for learning, and learning I’ve done. It’s time to get back at it, even though I’ll never be 100% sure of the outcome.
From Chapter XI of the book “Unlimited Power” by Anthony Robbins.
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