I’m Starting To Think That I’m Not Good
At Naming Bands
A list of names that haven’t panned out well.
Some Band
The issue here was that people would ask what their friends are doing that night, and they’d reply, “Seeing Some Band. They’re great!” (Okay, maybe I added the “They’re great!” part myself.) In retrospect, nobody wants to go see Some Band they want to see The Best Band Ever or This Amazing New Band.
Just Press Mute
The intention here was to be ironic, but it may have been misinterpreted. People took this as a suggestion rather than a band name. We started getting radio play, but when the DJ would say “Just Press Mute,” people started listening. Not to us. To her. They’d sit in silence for three minutes instead of listening to us rock out.
90's Soft Rock
Went through a death metal phase. You know the saying when everyone zigs, you zag? Thought I’d go that way — instead of Megadeath or Slayer, we’d create our own open space. Let’s just say Sarah McLlachlan’s fans’ screams of “Angel” fell on deaf ears. Mainly because nobody thought to bring ear plugs to a 90's Soft Rock show.
The Silence
Tried adjusting Just Press Mute to keep the same thought and irony, but make it more accessible. One fan sent us an email saying that he was on a road trip with his girlfriend and when he said, “Hey, I think we should drive and listen The Silence” it turned into a whole fight. “You ruined my relationship. Thanks, asshole.” Maybe this concept is a lost cause.
Guess!
Nobody ever figured out our band name.
Pitbull’s Cousins
This one should have been obvious.
[Verb] The [Noun]
Now this one had a lot of potential. We meant it as a choose your own adventure type name. You could call us “Pass The Airport” one day and “Gentrify The Garbage” the next. The problem is nobody really ever saw the name in writing, so they just started calling us “Verb The Noun.” Boring.
Matt Lauer’s Meth Lab
Name actually caught on really quickly. Lawsuit came almost immediately. Didn’t realize “You can’t prove you don’t cook meth” isn’t a good legal defense. The press around the case did help us sell 50 albums, but that wasn’t enough for a label to sign us I guess.
Led Zeppelin
Our strategy here was to capitalize on a huge, pre-existing fan base. Apparently, stealing one of the biggest bands of all time’s name is frowned upon.
