One week later:
Recovering from assault and a concussion

Published in

Endless

8 min readOct 4, 2015

[DISCLAIMER: I’m not a medical professional and this is simply my own post-concussion experience. Head trauma isn’t well understood and recovery will be different for everyone. However, I hope that my experience can be helpful to others in a similar situation.]

I’ve been told (more than once) that every man should know what it feels like to get punched in the face.

Well, I finally got my punch and I disagree. I also have no memory of it and got a concussion in the process.

One week ago I was assaulted in broad daylight (about 3:30 pm) in San Francisco at 7th & Mission, while walking home from buying cat litter at Target. I still don’t know exactly what happened but apparently I was punched in the face and knocked out by a teenager (possibly playing The Knockout Game) who immediately ran away.

I woke up on a couch in the lobby of an adjacent hotel, thoroughly confused, jaw aching, three teeth chipped, but otherwise just scraped and bruised. Nothing was stolen and my glasses were miraculously undamaged.

After speaking with the paramedics I declined the $2000 ambulance ride and got myself to the ER in a $10 Lyft. My CT scan looked good (no internal bleeding or other messy stuff) so I was discharged with a steep ER copayment and a few prescriptions for pain meds.

I arrived home, exhausted, head throbbing, still dazed, and tried to relax. I felt confused and scared, unsure what to expect the next day. I was a victim of assault and didn’t really know how to feel about it.

The next day

I woke up feeling well enough (apart from a hefty head- and toothache) so I decided to go to work (and bike there — mistake!). I’m a web designer, and my job is to look at screens and use my brain pretty much all day (two things you should not do when recovering from a concussion).

I was okay for most of the day. I felt mostly sharp but a little hazy, and fortunately didn’t have any important meetings to worry about. I had a break in the middle of the day to go to the dentist and get my chipped teeth taken care of (which I also biked to — mistake!) but then I returned to work.

By the afternoon my head was a lump of jelly. I wasn’t feeling like myself, my face was all numb from the dentist and I just wanted to sleep. I knew I had pushed myself too hard and needed rest.

Getting educated

That evening I admitted to myself that there’s no such thing as a mild head injury and that I needed to take my rest more seriously. I did some research to better understand what I should be doing for myself.

The rabbit hole of internet medical research can be dangerous though, and I also started to worry about causing permanent brain damage by doing the wrong thing. It turns out this fear was unwarranted; pushing myself too hard would make me uncomfortable and might slow my recovery but causing permanent damage was extremely unlikely.

I needed cognitive rest. Sleep as much as possible, eat good healthy foods, avoid screens, avoid stress, don’t try to go back to work right away. It’s no different from a muscle injury; you wouldn’t go for a run the day after you pull your hamstring and likewise, my brain just needed some time to heal itself.

It was also helpful to hear the stories of others who have had similar injuries, and understand that the symptoms I felt were completely normal.

Here are some articles I found useful:

The days that followed

The physical symptoms were much easier to deal with than the mental ones. My physical pain was easily regulated but feelings of worry, loneliness and anxiety were haunting.

I felt sudden mood swings; one moment I was fine and the next I felt helpless and started crying, almost involuntarily. These tapered off as the week went on but it was very much an emotional rollercoaster.

I would lie down to try to rest but feelings of anxiety crept in. It was especially frustrating because I had no memory of the incident. I tried to fill the memory void in my head, wondering what actually happened in those minutes that were forever lost to me.

And why me? Why was my face the most punchable on the sidewalk that afternoon? What could I have done differently? Why didn’t anyone chase down my assailant? Will he ever be caught? What was he thinking? What did it feel like to punch a completely innocent person in the face?

Thinking about the whole thing still makes me feel uneasy. But with a little time I was able to acknowledge those feelings of discomfort, allow them to exist, but then push them aside and focus on the positive things.

I began to see my week of rest as an opportunity to take a break. I was given an opportunity to clear my mind, relax and listen to music. A chance to slow down. I didn’t need to worry about crossing off everything on my to-do list. Instead, I could focus entirely on my own health.

Of course, it still got boring. Oh how I yearned to fire up some video games or watch a movie! Throughout the week I allowed myself small doses of these things but it felt more mentally taxing than usual so I eased back.

By the end of the week I was much better at slowing down and nourishing my brain. Here’s what I found helpful (and not):

What Helped

Rest (and lots of it). At first all I wanted to do was sleep. I soaked up as much shut-eye as I could, sleeping for 14 hours the first night. Even if I couldn’t sleep during the day, lying down with a t-shirt over my face was helpful. As the week went on I grew more restless and took melatonin to help regulate a more generous sleep schedule than I’m used to.
Music. Listening to music (especially jazz) provided just the right balance of stimulation and relaxation. I would lie down, throw on an album or two and close my eyes. Special thanks to Pat Metheny, George Duke, Ryuichi Sakamoto, Jean-Michel Jarre, Ahmad Jamal, Hiromi, Bobby Hutcherson, Herbie Hancock, Chick Corea, Bill Evans and St. Germain.
Comedy. Listening to standup comedy was one way to stave off the boredom and keep myself feeling positive. There are a ton of standup specials available on Rdio, Spotify and Netflix (or YouTube for that matter!). Special thanks to Steve Martin, Matt Braunger, Demetri Martin, Jen Kirkman, Chris Hardwick and the Welcome To Nightvale podcast.
Guided meditation. When I felt anxious and worrisome thoughts creeping in, I put on a pair of headphones and loaded up a guided meditation on YouTube (there are a ton!). It helped me to take a step back from the situation, settle my thoughts and reassure myself that I was okay and recovering well. Special thanks to Michael Sealey and TheHonestGuys.
Good brain food. Cooking was one thing I could do that didn’t feel mentally taxing. I kept it simple, but made sure I ate well, focusing on good proteins, vegetables and antioxidants, supplemented with omega-3 fish oil. Special thanks to salmon, quinoa, chard, eggs, potatoes and blackberries.
Yoga. Although I had to avoid anything physically strenuous, I found that doing some light yoga was a great way to relax my mind. Even just a few minutes of stretching really helped. Special thanks to Yoga With Adriene.
Cats. Some of the best advice I received was to “cuddle up with the cats and follow their lead for a few days”. I allowed myself to lie down and nap whenever I could, wedging myself between my cats on the bed and shutting my brain off. Special thanks to these guys.
Cleaning. I discovered that organizing and cleaning (while listening to music, of course) was a great mindless task that helped me feel productive at the same time. My apartment has never looked so good!
Friends checking in. It’s always nice to know that others are thinking of you, a reminder that you’re not going through it alone. Special thanks to everyone who checked in on me throughout the week and shared their own experiences.
Challenging myself a little bit every day. I wanted to have a measurable form of progress during recovery. At first I tried just walking a few blocks to the library to return some books. Or, I’d walk to a nearby park and sit in the sun for a bit while listening to music. Or walk along the waterfront and enjoy the calm San Francisco Bay. I usually felt extra tired by the time I got home but pushing myself just a little bit every day really helped.

What Didn’t Help

Going back to work too soon. I foolishly thought I could just shake it off so I went back to the office the day after the incident and tried to work. Although I didn’t try to work a full day, by the time I got home I felt exhausted and my head was throbbing. I wound up taking the rest of the week off to rest and it made all the difference.
Pushing myself too hard. The day after the incident I not only went back to work but decided to ride my bicycle there and then also ride to my dentist appointment up some steep hills in North Beach. By the time I arrived my head was pounding, I felt dizzy and knew I’d made a huge mistake.
Trying to solve the crime. It’s easy for these thoughts to creep in. What really happened? Did the jerk who punched me upload the video to YouTube where I might be able to find it and track him down (apparently not)? Who else might have witnessed the punch and how can I find them? Although I may never know what really happened, over-analyzing it just made me feel anxious and frustrated.
Wondering “what if?”. What if I had taken a different path home? What if I had left 5 minutes earlier? What if I was wearing a different shirt? None of this helped me feel better. As these thoughts arose I tried to acknowledge them but push them aside and focus on recovery.

Continued Recovery

It’s been an interesting week. In the last few days I’ve begun to feel like myself again and although I’m still wary of pushing myself too hard, I’ve been challenging myself a little bit every day.

I’ll return to work tomorrow but don’t expect to feel 100% for a few more weeks. I’m eager to resume my life again but for now I’m celebrating every little victory with the confidence that I will get there soon.

And all of this with a little more patience and understanding of myself.

If this post has been at all helpful to you, please let me know. If you’re going through a similar recovery process please don’t be too hard on yourself! Cultivate patience and look for the positive things. You’ll be just fine.

One week later:Recovering from assault and a concussion