Dear Jesse Eisenberg: You’re not as smart as you think you are.

About a man crush.

Common sense is like X-ray vision.

Saying you have it gets you stabbed by people you wanted to have…

I only lie when I tell the truth.

Show me a confused man, and I’ll show you an honest one.

This just in: Hitler makes a shitty mascot.

So “Nazis are people too” is a thing now, or something.

Being a grownup used to be easier.

There must have been an instruction manual.

Depression and heartburn.

Comedy: the Tums of the soul.

The one where I complain about grammar and wonder why I always lie to myself.

This is about NOT being a hipster.

Even though I spend a lot of time finding unpopular things.

The inverted meatloaf sandwich of social decay.

The meek will inherit…nothing!