Predators Seeking Support

Rapists email me requesting advice on how to stop. I refuse to help them. Here’s why.

TW: Sexual Assault, Abuse

Photo of native Midwestern grasses by author, text by BirlInterrupted on Tumblr. Text reads “The desire for a clean conscience is one of the most immoral drives”.

I am a sexual assault, domestic abuse, and stalking survivor, and I write about it on the internet.

I don’t do it because I have a moral obligation to. I don’t share what has happened to me because I believe it will change hearts and minds. Writing publicly about such topics is not strategic. It’s not borne of a feeling of responsibility. I definitely do not believe any other victim or survivor needs to share the way that I share.

I write about assault, stalking, and abuse because it helps me, and because I enjoy it. I find it cathartic. I don’t always know how I feel until I have structured an essay around it. I struggle to verbalize upsetting things. It’s immensely challenging for me to have hard conversations in person. Writing makes it a lot easier to be heartfelt. It allows me to make meaning of a convoluted tangle of memories, thoughts, and feelings. When I’m lucky, sharing my writing helps me to connect with, and even provide support for, other survivors.

That is the most I can realistically hope to accomplish with my work. I have run out of persuasive things to say about rape, and I don’t think broadcasting my pain is going…