Single Mom, Going to College

The Challenges of Parenting While Pursuing a Degree

“Muchos Gracias Liza! Que Dios te cuide y nos vemos Viernes si Dios quiere,” my client’s mom says as she holds onto him tightly while he hums his ABC’s. Humming relaxes him after a long session of therapy in a small two-bedroom apartment where his family of eight lives.

“Si Senora, Si Dios quiere.”

I exit into a dark carpeted hallway and let go a long exhale as I readjust the large tote bag full of puzzles stowed away like Tetris in my left hand. An old, black Jansport backpack holding a laptop filled with late assignments is slung on my back, and a large iPad is flung over my shoulder, still playing Talking Tom, a game in which a talking cat looks exhausted if he doesn’t get enough food or sleep.

I open Google Maps as I walk to my old BMW parked on a street covered in water spots and dust from lack of TLC. The app confirms the 40-minute drive to the Boys and Girls Club that is the next stop on my route, followed by a trip back to Whittier College to begin my second job as an Audio Tech Manager. On the drive back to Los Angeles from Orange County, the traffic is a welcome friend, providing me with my only down time, the weight of my responsibilities temporarily lifted.

I’m not alone in this feeling. Unfortunately, my role as a mother struggling to make ends meet while pursuing higher education isn’t as uncommon as one may think, though you might not guess that by looking at campuses such as Whittier College where the number of parents attending college is surprisingly low.

According to the National Institute for Women’s Policy Research, citing the National Postsecondary Student Aid Study, “More than one in five college students — or 22 percent of all undergraduates — are parents… Of the 3.8 million students who are raising children while in college, roughly 2.7 million (or 70 percent) are mothers.”

The numbers of parents in college are growing despite hurdles such as financial stability, childcare, and time management. Enrollment, though, doesn’t mean retention. According to 2018 article in Psychology Today, just over a quarter of student-parents finish their degrees. The article discusses the reasons many parents choose to drop out of post-secondary education. Among them: “Many of the others leave university for lower paying jobs. Some reasons for leaving college early include not having a strong enough support system including friends and family that can pitch in and help when the student parent needs to stay late on campus or when a child is sick. Others cannot overcome the financial burden of paying for college while raising a child. Many student parents work extra jobs when they are not in class to make ends meet.”

Many student parents work extra jobs when they are not in class to make ends meet

The burden of looking for support resources can be overwhelming but not impossible. For example, Mount San Antonio College in Walnut, California is home to mother and college student Ana Bueno Pena who is currently pursuing her AA with the goal of becoming a paralegal. But her path has been unique while raising her nine-year-old son.

I visited with her recently on a late night while her son was sick with strep throat and she had just rushed back from her last late-night class of the day. A bright smile across her face complimented her frizzy and wild curly blonde hair as she sat next to her son with a CVS bag resting in her lap. Ana is currently enrolled as a part-time student at Mt. SAC while working full-time and balancing being a single mom.

After the pandemic, Ana was forced to leave school full time to go back to work. She recently re-enrolled to attend classes online. “I had my son at 21 and my life was just getting started. I didn’t have that financial cushion, so work was my only source to move forward. You need a degree for everything now and no one ever talked to me about college when I was in [high[ school,” she tells me. “It’s different for every parent…some people don’t qualify for daycare on campus, and they have to figure out what [works] for them.” Ana’s smile both reflects her ambitions and masks the stress and anxiety that can be overwhelming, especially when the word childcare comes up.

Colleges are now making campuses more Student-Parent friendly by offering childcare support programs, encouraging professors to be more flexible offering childcare grants and sponsoring parenting groups. Whittier College, for example offers up to $500 per year for childcare. It helps, but the average cost of full-time child care is $1,000-$2,000 monthly.

Part of the challenge is that student support resources tend to be allocated to more concentrated populations. As Brittney J. Plascencia Saldana, the Director of Student Success & Belonging, Office of Student Engagement Center puts it: “A lot of student organizations are student-led with likeminded needs. There is a lot of potential at Whittier if students make a need for [parenting student resources] known. It doesn’t exist right now, but it absolutely could.”

A lot of student organizations are student-led with likeminded needs. There is a lot of potential at Whittier if students make a need for [parenting student resources] known.

The need for resources and community is evident at Whittier College to me as I stand alone feeling like an outsider when my classmates talk about their lives that are so vastly different from mine. There is a bright side — the community at Whittier is so welcoming and understanding that I bring my daughter to every event we can make it to. Not only is it financially helpful (the free food helps) but it exposes her to new ideas and environments.

The final Open Mic Night of the semester, hosted by KPOET Radio, is a good example. My daughter jumped on stage and was cheered on by fellow students. “Supermodel! Say Cheese! Another Pose!”

Afterwards, she made her way into the sound booth where PBS Kids was set up on my laptop in a corner for her while I test the microphones and adjust the music. She put her headphones on and is unphased by the crowd of students filling the seats underneath the blue lights while a hardcore band does sound checks.

She tugs at my dress,” Mommy, is it snack time yet?” I quickly run over to my backpack and whip out a banana, apple sauce, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I bought with food stamps the day before. She goes back to look at her screen as the lights come up and the show begins.