Imposter Syndrome
For many it’s all too real
by Gags Bisla
Hark Lally is 6' 1" and his broad shoulders make him look like a NFL linebacker. Lally though, is a 2021 graduate from Bates College who majored in biology on his way to pursuing a career in dentistry. Lally has thick, wavy hair, like Timothy Chalamet from Dune, and his dentistry tools seem to disappear in this big hands. His wide smile is surely a comfort to nervous patients. You might think Lally has it all together, but that’s no always the case. “The walls are closing in as my body from head to toe feels this tingling sensation, with every breath I take it feels like my throat is closing up,” says Lally, describing the bouts of anxiety that visit him from time to time.
Lally spent much of the pasty year studying for The Dental Admission Test (DAT) in order to gain admission to graduate school in the fall of 2023. Though everyone needs to go to the dentist, most people don’t look forward to doing so — maybe it’s the sound of the instruments or a natural aversion to people peering into your mouth. Hark Lally, though is different. Dentistry is the career choice for him because, as he puts it, “Teeth are the first thing I ever notice about a person”.
“Teeth are the first thing I ever notice about a person.”
Lally went through months of anxiety and fear of rejection while waiting to hear back from the grad schools to which he applied. Finally, he hears back from the University of Southern California — admitted for fall 2023! Lally gladly accepts as the noise from his uncles cheering for the Lakers in his backyard begins to fade out. Lally remembers the moment as it was yesterday. The cheers from his uncles who were watching the Lakers on TV quieting down. his mother, who didn’t go to college, engulfing him in a tight hug. His brother, also a first-generation collect student congratulating him over Face-time.
Soon, though, the joy of getting accepted turned to a different sort of anxiety. The fears of rejection turn into fears of attending USC. On a mid-March evening when the birds were starting to take cover as another in our endless series of winter storms started to build, Lally remembers wakes up in the middle of the night with his throat dry and the feeling it is closing up on him. When he tries to walk from his bed to his desk to grab a drink of water, half the cup spill down his chest because he is unable to walk a straight line. The room closes in. “My heart never races as fast it did and it never sank that far down into my chest either,” says Lally, remembering that terrifying evening.
The dream of a lifetime — getting into USC — started turning into something else when the fear set in. The fear, says Lally, was of “not being able to live up to the name of USC or not being as good as I thought I was in regards to where my peers are at.” Lally was likely having a bout of what is known as Imposter Syndrome.
The fear was “not being able to live up to the name of USC or not being as good as I thought I was…”
Imposter Syndrome is nothing new. A1993 study by Georgia State University’s Joe Langford and Pauline Rose Clance describes it as a “psychological occurrence in which people doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as frauds.” This fear of possible incompetence being exposed is the fear that set in for Hark Lally as it has for so many other strivers. Arlo Sandoval, a 2022 Whittier College graduate, teamed up with Professor of Religion Rosemary Carbine for their senior project on imposter syndrome. “The lesson I have learned is to simply have faith in yourself. Imposter syndrome can be detrimental, and it is important to hold onto your beliefs and argument in front of others as well as yourself,” says Sandoval.
Imposter syndrome is common among both men and women in many career paths. Some 70 percent of all adults feel like an imposter at some point in their lives according to Psychology today. Even though a vast majority of us may feel like an imposter at some point in time, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition (DSM-5) does not list imposter syndrome as a recognizable disorder, according Medical News Today. New York Times bestselling author and clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic Susan Albers says Imposter Syndrome can “easily turn into a cycle with negative consequences.” She notes that hard workers and strivers are particularly susceptible. “Even Einstein once said that he thought his research got way more attention than he thought it deserved,” says Albers.
Imposter syndrome can be especially prevalent among first-generation college students, such as Hark Lally. “Getting my degree was a lonely ride but the final destination with all the cheers and smiles was worth it,” says Lally. Others know the feeling. For example 57-percent of Cal State Los Angeles students are first-generation. If the statistics are right, more than two-thirds of them will encounter imposter syndrome at some point, such as Hark Lally and his fear of not living up to USC .
Lally remembers applying to a few graduate institutions that are good academically but may not be up to par with USC. His mom made it a point to make sure he applied to “USC and other schools like it.” Lally asked her why and she said, “Because other people will have heard of it.”
From that moment, he felt pressure to not only to apply to graduate schools such as USC and others like it, but also the pressure to get in. The pressure rose with his mom’s focus on a prestigious school that will look good on him. This is, too, is common. An article in Scholar Share from earlier this year discusses how getting into prestigious schools can be especially difficult on first-generation students, in a large part due to Imposter Syndrome. The more difficult to get in, the more likely the chances of feeling like an imposter. USC’s rate is only 12.5 percent.
The pressure to apply to prestigious schools but then also to succeed began to plague Lally as soon as the admissions offer came in. Lally began to cancel his dental practice volunteer hours more frequently as he did not want the doctors to “see him” as an USC student and give him tasks he might not be ready for.
Social support is a key aspect in dealing with first-generation college students but also Imposter Syndrome. According to “An Empirical Investigation of Mental Illness, Impostor Syndrome, and Social Support in Management Doctoral Programs,” published in Sage Journals, those who experience Imposter Syndrome have a difficulty in confiding in others, often resulting in them suffering alone. Whittier College’s Department Chair of Psychology, Joanne Hash, echos that sentiment. Hash says that some suffer alone due to the “pressure they are facing internally and externally.” Social support is a key aspect in life because if it is not for others pushing us to be better and having that individual determination we are bound to fail eventually.
For Hark Lally that social support is hearing words of encouragement from someone who knows what you are going through because that is going to resonate with you better. With that being said, one of the best things one can do when struggling with these issues is to talk it out and bounce ideas off someone. Even Professor Hash from Whittier College makes it a point to mention in the beginning of her classes each semester that the “Student Health and Wellness center on campus is available to you and your problems no matter how significant they might be.”
