So Others May Live
Alan Duran Keeps His Faith
As you step onto the linoleum floor of the Veterans First Center, a retirement home for veterans in Stanton, you see a collection of regular men who at first appear to be wholesome grandpas. As you walk deeper into the housing unit, you notice the men, all proud patriots, doing such everyday things as placing detergent into the washing machine or flipping through the television channels. Then, somewhere from the background will come a loud voice exclaiming, “I’m a demolitions expert; I’ll blow you up if you mess with me again.” The voice belongs to veteran Alan Duran, who can often be seen wearing a blue USA t-shirt. Though his loud and explicit remarks get him into trouble, they are endearing once you get to know him. Duran is a proud American hero I first met while volunteering at The Church of the Nazarene in Costa Mesa.
Duran served our country in the Vietnam War. He entered in April of 1972 at the young age of 18. Sitting across from me at a wooden table in the kitchen, eating his asparagus, Duran explains, “I graduated high school half a year early so that I could enter into the military on the same day my father retired from being a Staff Sargent in the Air Force. It was extremely important to my dad that I join, and so of course I did.”
Duran’s dad had previously served in Vietnam, making Allen the second generation to face combat in this drawn-out war. “My dad and I were in the paper because of what we were doing, people loved that I was entering combat the same day he was leaving. We were mini-celebrities for about an hour,” says Duran. Now 60 years old, Duran confides that he hated his father due to abusiveness and alcoholism amongst other things, but still sought his approval. Now, he says he’s grateful for a few of the good memories he is able to recall about his father.
“I wasn’t afraid of jumping out of the sky, or even of being in war. I had no fear.”
Other veterans who live with Duran continuously enter and exit into the building. Two men appear to be arguing about the presidential debates. Duran quickly brings the focus back to him with a loud, “Welcome to ‘Nam mother-fuckers!” He explains that these are the first words he heard upon arriving in Saigon. Duran was a “para-jumper,” a member of the Air Force’s pararescue squad whose job it is to jump out of planes into hot zones to retrieve men who have been injured in battle. “I wasn’t afraid of jumping out of the sky, or even of being in war,” says Duran. “I had no fear.”
Looks can be deceiving and this isn’t what you might expect to hear from Duran, a small man with a narrow frame who now dies his hair blond because it “gives him something to do.” Duran says he was more concerned with being so far from his girlfriend Marnie, or “sweety-honey” as he refers to her. She was the love of his life and the distance from her while in the military was his biggest battle. “I called her twice a week, as often as I could,” said Duran.
Once the Vietnam War ended, Duran concluded his service in Germany. He was so excited after his four years of service to come home and see the woman he loved, but it wasn’t an easy landing. “After I arrived off my plane, the first thing that happened to me was a woman came up to me and yelled, ‘Baby killer,’ and spit in my face,” says Duran.
Back home, he got no thank yous or appreciation for his service — a sign of the rough road ahead. He retuned to America with PTSD, Bi-Polar Disease and an addiction to China-White Heroin. At first, though, Duran seemed to have the American dream. He started his own construction business, “All-American Framing” and had two children, Allen Jr. and Amber. He was doing well for himself despite the addiction and mental-health issues simmering beneath the surface.
Duran takes a restroom break and Duran navigates his wheelchair down the hall and back to the table in the kitchen to continue eating his meal. He tells of how, ironically, he became paralyzed after the war when he was hit by a car while crossing the street. “I went into a coma, had a traumatic brain injury, broke my back and had surgery where they placed steel rods in my arms and legs. I couldn’t speak for months and was at the University of California Irvine [Hospital] for a year.”
Throughout this time, family and friends visited him frequently with warm and comforting visits. The accident derailed his life, though, causing his business to die and sucking all of his savings away. Shortly after, his son was murdered in a gang-related incident, his daughter passed away due to a drug overdose. Then, Marnie left.
“I went into boarding care for rehabilitation and I hated it,” says Duran.
These tragedies, combined with the loss of his independence at the young age of 40, were huge blows to his psyche “I had to get on disability, had medical bills coming out of my ass, was experiencing extreme depression, had no money, and my PTSD had become severe,” says Duran.
Despite getting inadequate care from the Veteran’s Administration, being wheelchair-bound and struggling at times with homelessness and drugs, Duran has managed to keep his character strong. He says his faith is what has helped him get through the endless days.“I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ; he is my Lord and Savior,” says Duran.“Hey look what else I got,” he says, pulling up the sleeve of his shirt to show a tattoo that reads, “So others may live.”
With a big, toothless grin Duran explains that this is the motto of the Airforce para-jumpers. With a twinkle in his eyes, he wishes me goodbye and wheels off to his room, the American Flag attached to his wheelchair blowing in the breeze.
